¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should refugees have equal rights with Koreans at work? Share your answer in a short paragraph.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ì
2021-08-30 334

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think accepting refugees means accepting them as members of our society. Thus they should have same status, rights and responsibility as other Koreans. Giving them equal rights at work does not mean that we should give them the jobs unconditionally or we should pay them the salary regardless of their output. Being equal means giving them equivalent chances to find out the job and proper salary for how they worked. Since we accepted them as the members of our society, it is reasonable to treat them equally. However, they might need more assistances to adapt themselves to our society. Therefore, we should be more tolerant to them and try to understand their difficulties.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Vicky!

I believe that you have a very good understanding of the situation of the refugees there in your country. Although they may be short of skills and have a different set of work culture, we know that this is the case because they came from a country of anarchy and less opportunity. To expect them to work as hard as you do may frustrate you.

Anyway, if you take a look at your sentences below, they are all grammatically perfect, well done! The usage of comma is the only insertion made to the first sentence. However, be careful as not to overuse this mark in your sentences. Congratulations!

See you then!

-T. Donna =)

I think accepting refugees means accepting them as members of our society. Thus they should have same status, rights and responsibility as other Koreans.
>> Correct!
Or: Thus, they should have same status, rights, and responsibility as other Koreans.

 Giving them equal rights at work does not mean that we should give them the jobs unconditionally or we should pay them the salary regardless of their output.
>> Correct!

 Being equal means giving them equivalent chances to find out the job and proper salary for how they worked. 
>> Correct!

Since we accepted them as the members of our society, it is reasonable to treat them equally. 
>> Correct!

However, they might need more assistances to adapt themselves to our society. 
>> Correct!

Therefore, we should be more tolerant to them and try to understand their difficulties.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110124 Can you talk about three of your favorite things to eat? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 562
110123 Korea Struggles to Contain Coronavirus Surge À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 0
110122 What is the worst problem you have ever faced in your life and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 0
110121 Can you talk about three of your favorite things to eat? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1
110120 Fire and firefighter ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 574
110119 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1
110118 Homework 7.16 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1141
110117 home work on July 15 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1
110116 How do you keep yourself away from the dangers of disaster? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 1
110115 Homework (309) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 562
110114 What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 422
110113 Homework ¿ì*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 753
110112 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 1
110111 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 483
110110 Sorry plz make it skipped ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 547
110109 I want to be like Wanda ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 540
110108 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 464
110107 Summer Vacation!! Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 489
110106 What is the worst problem you have ever faced in your life and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 474
110105 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 576

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04