¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should refugees have equal rights with Koreans at work? Share your answer in a short paragraph.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ì
2021-08-30 345

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think accepting refugees means accepting them as members of our society. Thus they should have same status, rights and responsibility as other Koreans. Giving them equal rights at work does not mean that we should give them the jobs unconditionally or we should pay them the salary regardless of their output. Being equal means giving them equivalent chances to find out the job and proper salary for how they worked. Since we accepted them as the members of our society, it is reasonable to treat them equally. However, they might need more assistances to adapt themselves to our society. Therefore, we should be more tolerant to them and try to understand their difficulties.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Vicky!

I believe that you have a very good understanding of the situation of the refugees there in your country. Although they may be short of skills and have a different set of work culture, we know that this is the case because they came from a country of anarchy and less opportunity. To expect them to work as hard as you do may frustrate you.

Anyway, if you take a look at your sentences below, they are all grammatically perfect, well done! The usage of comma is the only insertion made to the first sentence. However, be careful as not to overuse this mark in your sentences. Congratulations!

See you then!

-T. Donna =)

I think accepting refugees means accepting them as members of our society. Thus they should have same status, rights and responsibility as other Koreans.
>> Correct!
Or: Thus, they should have same status, rights, and responsibility as other Koreans.

 Giving them equal rights at work does not mean that we should give them the jobs unconditionally or we should pay them the salary regardless of their output.
>> Correct!

 Being equal means giving them equivalent chances to find out the job and proper salary for how they worked. 
>> Correct!

Since we accepted them as the members of our society, it is reasonable to treat them equally. 
>> Correct!

However, they might need more assistances to adapt themselves to our society. 
>> Correct!

Therefore, we should be more tolerant to them and try to understand their difficulties.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110011 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 1
110010 Is it necessary for teachers to undergo mandatory drug screening? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 637
110009 What is your opinion about the government¡¯s delay of imposing... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 596
110008 Have you gone to a conference on behalf of your boss? Give... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 641
110007 Homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 650
110006 What is the most difficult thing about learning English? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 688
110005 Do you have a color that you hate? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 1
110004 In the dark! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 495
110003 I think students don\'t have to do a part-time job. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 399
110002 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 499
110001 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 533
110000 If you are going to make a song, what would it be about and who... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 454
109999 If you are going to make a song, what would it be about and who... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 462
109998 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 428
109997 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 364
109996 Home work and questions Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 693
109995 What is the first thing that you always do when you visit a new... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 0
109994 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 0
109993 Is being poor a valid reason to commit crime? Why or why not? ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 0
109992 Do you think that talent is needed to be successful in life? Why... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-07-13 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04