¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Monday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-08-30 308

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:Most people say the book is better than the movie. Is this true for you?
A:I think it is true for me.
Actually, movie has video and audio so most of people think that movie is better but if people watch movie for long time, then their eyes can be not good and it can be more like real so it can make people change, but even if people read books, their eyes are the same and most of books don't make people change.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think it is true for me.

>> CORRECT!
Actually, movie has video and audio so most of people think that movie is better 

>> Actually, a movie has a video and audio so most people think that a movie is better.

but if people watch movie for long time, then their eyes can be not good and it can be more like real so it can make people change, 

>> But if people watch a movie for a long time, then it won't be good for their eyes and the movie can be realistic so it can make people change, 

but even if people read books, their eyes are the same and most of books don't make people change.

>> If people read books, their eyes will stay in the same condition and most books will not make people change.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110943 14th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110942 Some people get into debt by buying things they don¡¯t need and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 336
110941 Homework Àü*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 388
110940 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 309
110939 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 6
110938 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 331
110937 Robots to Cook Soldiers\' Chow À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110936 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 2
110935 What do you think about a Dutch treat? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110934 The special exhibition of the Hero ¡°Hong Bum-Do¡± in Bongoh... È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110933 Fall ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 488
110932 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110931 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110930 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 5
110929 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 2
110928 I enjoyed to learn an english Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 409
110927 My favorite place is... ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 7
110926 Do you agree with the idea of less consideration about the... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 2
110925 If it was your birthday, what gift do you want to receive and... ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 312
110924 What is the most useful thing that you own and why? ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 289

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04