¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is going to happen in your life next year?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-08-31 227

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually, I don't know about my life nest year because I'm not a person like Dr. Strange.
I forget a lot of memories of my life and I don't know about my future.
But during my life, I relized that knowing the preciousness of living is very important in my life.
If I know the preciousness of living, I can think my life more happier and more valuable than before.
Altough I don't know about my future, but I believe that I will keep the preciousness of my life.
And I think I will be reminded the presiousness of my life by the small happiness hiding in my life and this world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^
 
You actually made me laugh with the Dr. Strange part. Hahaha! But your answer is true. We should value our life and live it to the fullest. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Actually, I don't know about my life nest year because I'm not a person like Dr. Strange.

>> Actually, I don't know what will happen in my life next year because I am not like Dr. Strange. 


I forget a lot of memories of my life and I don't know about my future.

>> I forget a lot of memories in my life and I don't know about my future.


But during my life, I relized that knowing the preciousness of living is very important in my life.

>> But I realized that valuing life is very important for us. 


If I know the preciousness of living, I can think my life more happier and more valuable than before.

>> If I know how precious living is, I can be happier and value life more than before. 


Altough I don't know about my future, but I believe that I will keep the preciousness of my life.

>> Although I don't know about my future, I believe that I will value my life. 


And I think I will be reminded the presiousness of my life by the small happiness hiding in my life and this world.

>> I should always remind myself how precious my life is. Happiness can be found even in the slightest thing in the world. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111670 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 0
111669 What is the best thing about your neighborhood? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111668 What kind of people do you like best? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 226
111667 How do movie reviews affect your interest in a certain movie? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 200
111666 special restaurant Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 206
111665 What age do you want to be a mother? Why? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111664 IELTS writing task1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 5
111663 page 33 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 172
111662 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 205
111661 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 225
111660 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 221
111659 oh my god!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 245
111658 9.6 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111657 HOMEWORK : How do you introduce yourself to someone? ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111656 In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 280
111655 How often do you eat out? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 259
111654 Donating money to poor people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 207
111653 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 235
111652 0906 yejin ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 2
111651 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 248

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04