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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What benefit do polyamorous relationships have? Share your answer in a few sentences.

작성자: 정*우
2021-09-01 190

회원님의 영작문

Honestly, I cannot understand how can one people simultaneously love multiple partners. However, polyamorous relationships may be helpful for one to supplement any weakness in the relationship with one partner. For example as the article suggested, since a wife could not fulfill emotional needs from the husband, she were be supported emotionally by another new partner. The result showed that this new type of relationship gives a positive effect on the wife's mental status and keep the family relationship stable. Therefore, this new relationship might prevent the divorce of the original couple and just add one more person as a new family member. Moreover, this another partner even helps raising a child, which is much helpful for the whole family.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Vicky!

I hope that you were able to attend to your patient well today. Anyway, this is a very bright way to see how another person can be of great help to the family. There may be issues of roles as we have been used to seeing the norm of a mother-father-children family but then we are not in their shoes to say that they are wrong and not doing fine.

Thus, your explanation here says it all. Thank you for patiently answering my questions always.

See you tomorrow.

-T. Donna =)

Honestly, I cannot understand how can one people simultaneously love multiple partners. 
>> Honestly, I cannot understand how can one person simultaneously love multiple partners. 

However, polyamorous relationships may be helpful for one to supplement any weakness in the relationship with one partner. 
>> Correct!

For example as the article suggested, since a wife could not fulfill emotional needs from the husband, she were be supported emotionally by another new partner.
>> For example as the article suggested, since a wife could not fulfill the emotional needs from the husband, she were supported emotionally by another partner.

The result showed that this new type of relationship gives a positive effect on the wife's mental status and keep the family relationship stable. 
>> The result showed that this new type of relationship gives a positive effect on the wife's mental status and keeps the family's relationship stable. 

Therefore, this new relationship might prevent the divorce of the original couple and just add one more person as a new family member. 
>> Correct!

Moreover, this another partner even helps raising a child, which is much helpful for the whole family.
>> Moreover, this other partner even helps raising a child which is much helpful for the whole family.
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