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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

When was the last time you achieved a goal? How did you feel?

작성자: 김*수
2021-09-02 603

회원님의 영작문

My last achieved goal was getting a second prize at a writing contest in university. Students had to submit writings which relate with their experience while they did some activity in university. I wrote my experience about teaching freshmen through few months. I was really exhausted and stressful because I tried too hard teaching them. During this time, I learned many things about how to handle students when I give a lesson for them. For this reason, I wanted other people also know my experience and I wrote a writing about this I also thought I want to get a prize because of my trial. As a result, I got a second prize, and I was really moved. I thought it was worth to challenge and it made me more confident.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Congratulation for winning the Second Place RIA! 
You must be very happy during that time :) 

My last achieved goal was getting a second prize at a writing contest in university. 
>>> The last goal I achieved was to get second place in the university writing contest.
Students had to submit writings which relate with their experience while they did some activity in university. 
>>> Students had to submit articles related to their experiences while in college.
I wrote my experience about teaching freshmen through few months. 
>>> I wrote about my experience of teaching freshmen for a few months.
I was really exhausted and stressful because I tried too hard teaching them. 
>>> CORRECT!
During this time, I learned many things about how to handle students when I give a lesson for them. 
>>> CORRECT!
For this reason, I wanted other people also know my experience and I wrote a writing about this I also thought I want to get a prize because of my trial. 
>>> For this reason, I also wanted other people to know my experience to win the prize. 
As a result, I got a second prize, and I was really moved. 
>>> As a result, I received the second place award and I was really touched.
I thought it was worth to challenge and it made me more confident
>>> I thought it was worth the challenge, so I gained more confidence.

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