¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework(*^-^*)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*Èñ
2021-09-02 181

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think having fears can be good.
Of course, too much fears can make people timid but Proper fears can make people cautious.
For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous, won't be careful about falling into the river.
If they have fears about falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
when I was in child I have a lot of fears so, I've never had an accident.
In my case, I wish I was a little less scared, but moderate fear helps us be careful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jessica! 
Thank you for your homework. I agree with you. Having a moderate amount of fear can help us be careful and be less careless. Your essay is well-thought-out, so great job! 
Regards, 
T. Angelica 

I think having fears can be good.
>>CORRECT. 
>> I think having fears can be a good thing. 
OR>> I think having fears can be reasonable. 
Of course, too much fears can make people timid but Proper fears can make people cautious.
>>Of course, having too many fears can make people timid but proper fears can make people cautious. 
For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous, won't be careful about falling into the river.
>>For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous won't be careful about falling into the river.
If they have fears about falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
>>If they fear falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
when I was in child I have a lot of fears so, I've never had an accident.
>>When I was a child, I had many fears, so I've never had an accident.
In my case, I wish I was a little less scared, but moderate fear helps us be careful.
>>CORRECT. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112206 Why are animals important to humans?  ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-09-26 1
112205 Hard-headed ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-26 2
112204 Do you prefer working alone or in a group? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-26 297
112203 Which skill do you think is most significant in this job... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-26 227
112202 What do you want to do after the Pandemic? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-26 1
112201 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-25 261
112200 17 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-25 204
112199 13 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-25 745
112198 Since we celebrated Chu Seok, what are you most thankful for? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-25 0
112197 Which hobbies are the most popular in your country? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 254
112196 What identity do you want your child/ children to have in the... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 1
112195 Since we celebrated Chu Seok, what are you most thankful for? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 275
112194 Holidays ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 249
112193 O.M.G ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 338
112192 Most part of my body:brain ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 281
112191 page 24 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 602
112190 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 808
112189 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 248
112188 Patriarchal Society Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 224
112187 20210924 Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 302

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04