¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework(*^-^*)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*Èñ
2021-09-02 169

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think having fears can be good.
Of course, too much fears can make people timid but Proper fears can make people cautious.
For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous, won't be careful about falling into the river.
If they have fears about falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
when I was in child I have a lot of fears so, I've never had an accident.
In my case, I wish I was a little less scared, but moderate fear helps us be careful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jessica! 
Thank you for your homework. I agree with you. Having a moderate amount of fear can help us be careful and be less careless. Your essay is well-thought-out, so great job! 
Regards, 
T. Angelica 

I think having fears can be good.
>>CORRECT. 
>> I think having fears can be a good thing. 
OR>> I think having fears can be reasonable. 
Of course, too much fears can make people timid but Proper fears can make people cautious.
>>Of course, having too many fears can make people timid but proper fears can make people cautious. 
For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous, won't be careful about falling into the river.
>>For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous won't be careful about falling into the river.
If they have fears about falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
>>If they fear falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
when I was in child I have a lot of fears so, I've never had an accident.
>>When I was a child, I had many fears, so I've never had an accident.
In my case, I wish I was a little less scared, but moderate fear helps us be careful.
>>CORRECT. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111282 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 227
111281 19th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 2
111280 Correction RQ if any. ¼­*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 3
111279 Vaccine ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 1
111278 What are some ways to overcome being nervous about meeting new... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 226
111277 How do you order food in English? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 0
111276 What do you think is the best city in Korea and why? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 0
111275 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 1
111274 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 1
111273 Robots to fry chicken at Kyochon À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 1
111272 Homework 4 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 0
111271 8/26 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 399
111270 The Bank Of Korea Set Standard Interest Rate, Act Covid-19 As... È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 3
111269 Do you bring much luggage when you travel? Have you ever paid... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 195
111268 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 3
111267 My family ±è*À» ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 2
111266 8.25 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 2
111265 Kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 1
111264 Use manageable, motivated, and pound in a correct sentence. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 209
111263 page 5 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 200

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04