¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework(*^-^*)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*Èñ
2021-09-02 326

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think having fears can be good.
Of course, too much fears can make people timid but Proper fears can make people cautious.
For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous, won't be careful about falling into the river.
If they have fears about falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
when I was in child I have a lot of fears so, I've never had an accident.
In my case, I wish I was a little less scared, but moderate fear helps us be careful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jessica! 
Thank you for your homework. I agree with you. Having a moderate amount of fear can help us be careful and be less careless. Your essay is well-thought-out, so great job! 
Regards, 
T. Angelica 

I think having fears can be good.
>>CORRECT. 
>> I think having fears can be a good thing. 
OR>> I think having fears can be reasonable. 
Of course, too much fears can make people timid but Proper fears can make people cautious.
>>Of course, having too many fears can make people timid but proper fears can make people cautious. 
For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous, won't be careful about falling into the river.
>>For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous won't be careful about falling into the river.
If they have fears about falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
>>If they fear falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
when I was in child I have a lot of fears so, I've never had an accident.
>>When I was a child, I had many fears, so I've never had an accident.
In my case, I wish I was a little less scared, but moderate fear helps us be careful.
>>CORRECT. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112492 If i could be reincarnated.. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 340
112491 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1047
112490 What are the benefits of aging? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 399
112489 Do you believe that there is still a chance for South Korea and... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1138
112488 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 689
112487 If you can be reincarnated, what kind of life would you want on... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 392
112486 How has technology changed the society? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 381
112485 Are these sentences grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 504
112484 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 348
112483 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 416
112482 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1
112481 If you can be reincarnated, what kind of life would you want on... ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 433
112480 37 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 363
112479 Countries ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 379
112478 Write about a memorable experience you had with a favorite... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 312
112477 If I reincarnated ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 386
112476 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 433
112475 If you can be reincarnated, what kind of life would you want on... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 501
112474 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1
112473 (Self-introduction) Tell me something about yourself. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 445

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04