¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework(*^-^*)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*Èñ
2021-09-02 224

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think having fears can be good.
Of course, too much fears can make people timid but Proper fears can make people cautious.
For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous, won't be careful about falling into the river.
If they have fears about falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
when I was in child I have a lot of fears so, I've never had an accident.
In my case, I wish I was a little less scared, but moderate fear helps us be careful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jessica! 
Thank you for your homework. I agree with you. Having a moderate amount of fear can help us be careful and be less careless. Your essay is well-thought-out, so great job! 
Regards, 
T. Angelica 

I think having fears can be good.
>>CORRECT. 
>> I think having fears can be a good thing. 
OR>> I think having fears can be reasonable. 
Of course, too much fears can make people timid but Proper fears can make people cautious.
>>Of course, having too many fears can make people timid but proper fears can make people cautious. 
For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous, won't be careful about falling into the river.
>>For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous won't be careful about falling into the river.
If they have fears about falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
>>If they fear falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
when I was in child I have a lot of fears so, I've never had an accident.
>>When I was a child, I had many fears, so I've never had an accident.
In my case, I wish I was a little less scared, but moderate fear helps us be careful.
>>CORRECT. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111426 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111425 Describe your favorite city in South Korea ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 319
111424 If you were the boss of your own clinic, what amenity or benefit... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 241
111423 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 0
111422 What do you think is going to happen in your life next year? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 311
111421 Kate!!! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 16
111420 What is the goal of your meeting in Seoul tomorrow? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 7
111419 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 276
111418 Will said, \"All the world\'s a stage.\" Is it true? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111417 Which amongst the 10 Finnish innovations do you think is the... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111416 Seoul Ranked 25th Safest City in the World À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111415 i\'m tired.................. ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 308
111414 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 272
111413 library of the future ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 262
111412 Do you want your children to have their own cars at this point... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 260
111411 The hardest job: house wife ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 289
111410 21 homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111409 8.30 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111408 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 6
111407 HOMEWORK: Do you think it\'s disrespectful to argue with your... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 297

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04