¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework(*^-^*)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*Èñ
2021-09-02 279

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think having fears can be good.
Of course, too much fears can make people timid but Proper fears can make people cautious.
For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous, won't be careful about falling into the river.
If they have fears about falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
when I was in child I have a lot of fears so, I've never had an accident.
In my case, I wish I was a little less scared, but moderate fear helps us be careful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jessica! 
Thank you for your homework. I agree with you. Having a moderate amount of fear can help us be careful and be less careless. Your essay is well-thought-out, so great job! 
Regards, 
T. Angelica 

I think having fears can be good.
>>CORRECT. 
>> I think having fears can be a good thing. 
OR>> I think having fears can be reasonable. 
Of course, too much fears can make people timid but Proper fears can make people cautious.
>>Of course, having too many fears can make people timid but proper fears can make people cautious. 
For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous, won't be careful about falling into the river.
>>For example, children who don't know that the river is dangerous won't be careful about falling into the river.
If they have fears about falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
>>If they fear falling into the water, they will be careful and won't go near the river.
when I was in child I have a lot of fears so, I've never had an accident.
>>When I was a child, I had many fears, so I've never had an accident.
In my case, I wish I was a little less scared, but moderate fear helps us be careful.
>>CORRECT. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111104 home work on Aug 20 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-22 1
111103 What medical law do you want to be made? Share your answer in a... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-22 319
111102 [8/19]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-08-22 1
111101 [8/18]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-08-22 1
111100 Are you an adventurous person? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 2
111099 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 0
111098 What festivals do you have in your city? Can you explain what... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 1
111097 What is your favorite look? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 398
111096 home work on Aug 19 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 0
111095 My name ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 1
111094 home work on Aug 18 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 0
111093 2nd homework ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 8
111092 What is the hardest thing to cook? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-21 6
111091 Why do some people love eating spicy food? Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 384
111090 Do you like to travel to work or to enjoy? Share your answer in... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 1155
111089 8.20 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 2
111088 53 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 418
111087 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 359
111086 49 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 684
111085 I agree with that ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-20 285

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04