¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Journal

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿µ
2021-09-02 188

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Today Is my father's birthday.

So my mother cooked for father.

Seeweed soup, jabchae etc...

But I can't greet father

Because, I went to the cafe for part time work.

So when I came back home, I ate them.

It was so delicious!

By the way, so many people was born in september who around me

First, my father was born september 2th.

Second, my boyfriend was born september 8th.

And my one bestfriend was born eptemner 10th.

And some peoples also have birthday in september who not much close to me.

I have a funny story.

My almost EX boyfriends was born sebtember...

Maybe 4 people.

I don't know why!

Anyway It is a secret to my boyfriend Donna! Haha(hush!)

Maybe november is getting cold month.

many people feels like lonely...in november...

And december is too.( chirist mas!)

So...you know what I mean? Haha.

Many people was born september and october!

believe it or not ! lol



Today I writh long story on my journal.

Thank you for read it Donna.

And please check. See you!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jennie!

Wow, you are such a wonderful writer! Look at these meaningful, funny, and carefully thought of sentences. You did a great job in telling me about all the people 
around you who are celebrating their birthdays in September. It's funny that my best friend is also born on September 11. 

Don't worry, your secrets are very safe with me... ^^

Happy birthday again to your father! Please read and understand all the suggestions I gave you below. Take care and EXCELLENT JOB JENNIE!

-T Donna =)

Today Is my father's birthday.
>> Correct!
Or: Today is my father's birthday.

So my mother cooked for father.
>> Correct!
Or: So my mother cooked for Father.

Seeweed soup, jabchae etc...
>> Correct!

But I can't greet father
>> But, I cannot greet Father.

Because, I went to the cafe for part time work.
>> Correct!

So when I came back home, I ate them.
>> Correct!

It was so delicious!
>> Correct!

By the way, so many people was born in september who around me
>> By the way, so many people were born in September who  are around me.

First, my father was born september 2th.
>> First, my father was born on September 2th.

Second, my boyfriend was born september 8th.
>> Second, my boyfriend was born on September 8th.

And my one bestfriend was born eptemner 10th.
>> 
And my bestfriend was born on September 10th.

And some peoples also have birthday in september who not much close to me.
>> And some people also have their birthday in September who are not much close to me.

I have a funny story.
>> Correct!

My almost EX boyfriends was born sebtember...
>> Almost all my ex-boyfriends were born in September.

Maybe 4 people.
>> Correct!

I don't know why!
>> Correct!

Anyway It is a secret to my boyfriend Donna! Haha(hush!)
>> Correct!

Maybe november is getting cold month.
>> Maybe November is getting to be a colder month.

many people feels like lonely...in november...
>> Many people feel lonely in November.

And december is too.( chirist mas!)
>> And December is too. (Christmas!)

So...you know what I mean? Haha.
>> Correct!

Many people was born september and october!
>> Many people are born on September and October.

believe it or not ! lol
>> Believe it or not ! lol



Today I writh long story on my journal.
>> Today I wrote a long story on my journal.

Thank you for read it Donna.
>> Thank you for reading it Donna.

And please check. See you!
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111601 What women\'s law related to the article do you want to be made... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 185
111600 ielts task 1 ÀÌ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 388
111599 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 198
111598 Kate :) ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 5
111597 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 170
111596 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 199
111595 30 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 664
111594 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 185
111593 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 1
111592 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 233
111591 Living Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 232
111590 Inviting Someone ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 336
111589 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 3
111588 South Korea alert against lambda variant, toughens measures... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 1
111587 Do you agree that money can ruin a relationship? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 197
111586 what I will wear in the beach ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 188
111585 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 185
111584 What health problems can some gadgets cause? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 218
111583 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 3
111582 Tell me about your favorite types of conversations to have? What... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04