¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Journal

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿µ
2021-09-02 225

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Today Is my father's birthday.

So my mother cooked for father.

Seeweed soup, jabchae etc...

But I can't greet father

Because, I went to the cafe for part time work.

So when I came back home, I ate them.

It was so delicious!

By the way, so many people was born in september who around me

First, my father was born september 2th.

Second, my boyfriend was born september 8th.

And my one bestfriend was born eptemner 10th.

And some peoples also have birthday in september who not much close to me.

I have a funny story.

My almost EX boyfriends was born sebtember...

Maybe 4 people.

I don't know why!

Anyway It is a secret to my boyfriend Donna! Haha(hush!)

Maybe november is getting cold month.

many people feels like lonely...in november...

And december is too.( chirist mas!)

So...you know what I mean? Haha.

Many people was born september and october!

believe it or not ! lol



Today I writh long story on my journal.

Thank you for read it Donna.

And please check. See you!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jennie!

Wow, you are such a wonderful writer! Look at these meaningful, funny, and carefully thought of sentences. You did a great job in telling me about all the people 
around you who are celebrating their birthdays in September. It's funny that my best friend is also born on September 11. 

Don't worry, your secrets are very safe with me... ^^

Happy birthday again to your father! Please read and understand all the suggestions I gave you below. Take care and EXCELLENT JOB JENNIE!

-T Donna =)

Today Is my father's birthday.
>> Correct!
Or: Today is my father's birthday.

So my mother cooked for father.
>> Correct!
Or: So my mother cooked for Father.

Seeweed soup, jabchae etc...
>> Correct!

But I can't greet father
>> But, I cannot greet Father.

Because, I went to the cafe for part time work.
>> Correct!

So when I came back home, I ate them.
>> Correct!

It was so delicious!
>> Correct!

By the way, so many people was born in september who around me
>> By the way, so many people were born in September who  are around me.

First, my father was born september 2th.
>> First, my father was born on September 2th.

Second, my boyfriend was born september 8th.
>> Second, my boyfriend was born on September 8th.

And my one bestfriend was born eptemner 10th.
>> 
And my bestfriend was born on September 10th.

And some peoples also have birthday in september who not much close to me.
>> And some people also have their birthday in September who are not much close to me.

I have a funny story.
>> Correct!

My almost EX boyfriends was born sebtember...
>> Almost all my ex-boyfriends were born in September.

Maybe 4 people.
>> Correct!

I don't know why!
>> Correct!

Anyway It is a secret to my boyfriend Donna! Haha(hush!)
>> Correct!

Maybe november is getting cold month.
>> Maybe November is getting to be a colder month.

many people feels like lonely...in november...
>> Many people feel lonely in November.

And december is too.( chirist mas!)
>> And December is too. (Christmas!)

So...you know what I mean? Haha.
>> Correct!

Many people was born september and october!
>> Many people are born on September and October.

believe it or not ! lol
>> Believe it or not ! lol



Today I writh long story on my journal.
>> Today I wrote a long story on my journal.

Thank you for read it Donna.
>> Thank you for reading it Donna.

And please check. See you!
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111022 What exotic foods do you want to try and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 0
111021 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 1
111020 8.18 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 3
111019 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 2
111018 How would you improve it to defend against ninjas? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 5
111017 ielts task 1 bar graph ÀÌ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 188
111016 What exotic foods do you want to try and why? ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 214
111015 Do you think you need to borrow a big amount of money from the... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 196
111014 Is there a kind of TV show that you will never watch? Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 607
111013 Hi Kate :) ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 2
111012 How do you protect your privacy with your phone and social media... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 232
111011 HOMEWORK °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 214
111010 1st homework ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 4
111009 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 223
111008 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 160
111007 What are your priorities in getting a job? Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 1
111006 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 0
111005 Page 43 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 198
111004 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 1
111003 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04