¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Journal

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿µ
2021-09-02 247

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Today Is my father's birthday.

So my mother cooked for father.

Seeweed soup, jabchae etc...

But I can't greet father

Because, I went to the cafe for part time work.

So when I came back home, I ate them.

It was so delicious!

By the way, so many people was born in september who around me

First, my father was born september 2th.

Second, my boyfriend was born september 8th.

And my one bestfriend was born eptemner 10th.

And some peoples also have birthday in september who not much close to me.

I have a funny story.

My almost EX boyfriends was born sebtember...

Maybe 4 people.

I don't know why!

Anyway It is a secret to my boyfriend Donna! Haha(hush!)

Maybe november is getting cold month.

many people feels like lonely...in november...

And december is too.( chirist mas!)

So...you know what I mean? Haha.

Many people was born september and october!

believe it or not ! lol



Today I writh long story on my journal.

Thank you for read it Donna.

And please check. See you!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jennie!

Wow, you are such a wonderful writer! Look at these meaningful, funny, and carefully thought of sentences. You did a great job in telling me about all the people 
around you who are celebrating their birthdays in September. It's funny that my best friend is also born on September 11. 

Don't worry, your secrets are very safe with me... ^^

Happy birthday again to your father! Please read and understand all the suggestions I gave you below. Take care and EXCELLENT JOB JENNIE!

-T Donna =)

Today Is my father's birthday.
>> Correct!
Or: Today is my father's birthday.

So my mother cooked for father.
>> Correct!
Or: So my mother cooked for Father.

Seeweed soup, jabchae etc...
>> Correct!

But I can't greet father
>> But, I cannot greet Father.

Because, I went to the cafe for part time work.
>> Correct!

So when I came back home, I ate them.
>> Correct!

It was so delicious!
>> Correct!

By the way, so many people was born in september who around me
>> By the way, so many people were born in September who  are around me.

First, my father was born september 2th.
>> First, my father was born on September 2th.

Second, my boyfriend was born september 8th.
>> Second, my boyfriend was born on September 8th.

And my one bestfriend was born eptemner 10th.
>> 
And my bestfriend was born on September 10th.

And some peoples also have birthday in september who not much close to me.
>> And some people also have their birthday in September who are not much close to me.

I have a funny story.
>> Correct!

My almost EX boyfriends was born sebtember...
>> Almost all my ex-boyfriends were born in September.

Maybe 4 people.
>> Correct!

I don't know why!
>> Correct!

Anyway It is a secret to my boyfriend Donna! Haha(hush!)
>> Correct!

Maybe november is getting cold month.
>> Maybe November is getting to be a colder month.

many people feels like lonely...in november...
>> Many people feel lonely in November.

And december is too.( chirist mas!)
>> And December is too. (Christmas!)

So...you know what I mean? Haha.
>> Correct!

Many people was born september and october!
>> Many people are born on September and October.

believe it or not ! lol
>> Believe it or not ! lol



Today I writh long story on my journal.
>> Today I wrote a long story on my journal.

Thank you for read it Donna.
>> Thank you for reading it Donna.

And please check. See you!
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110602 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 206
110601 August 4th and 5th homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 242
110600 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 0
110599 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 1
110598 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 0
110597 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 1
110596 Email -2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 181
110595 Email -1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 184
110594 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 1
110593 Day 3 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 179
110592 Do you think the younger generation is much more progressive?... ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 2
110591 What do you think should the government about the homeless... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 0
110590 Do you think it\'s necessary to move out of your parents house... ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 212
110589 What do you think would happen if there was only one language in... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 0
110588 Abandoned dog ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 185
110587 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 153
110586 10 page ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 141
110585 What do you think would happen if there was only one language in... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 173
110584 What is the most challenging part of your job? What is the most... Çã*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 187
110583 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 166

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04