¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Journal

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿µ
2021-09-02 255

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Today Is my father's birthday.

So my mother cooked for father.

Seeweed soup, jabchae etc...

But I can't greet father

Because, I went to the cafe for part time work.

So when I came back home, I ate them.

It was so delicious!

By the way, so many people was born in september who around me

First, my father was born september 2th.

Second, my boyfriend was born september 8th.

And my one bestfriend was born eptemner 10th.

And some peoples also have birthday in september who not much close to me.

I have a funny story.

My almost EX boyfriends was born sebtember...

Maybe 4 people.

I don't know why!

Anyway It is a secret to my boyfriend Donna! Haha(hush!)

Maybe november is getting cold month.

many people feels like lonely...in november...

And december is too.( chirist mas!)

So...you know what I mean? Haha.

Many people was born september and october!

believe it or not ! lol



Today I writh long story on my journal.

Thank you for read it Donna.

And please check. See you!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jennie!

Wow, you are such a wonderful writer! Look at these meaningful, funny, and carefully thought of sentences. You did a great job in telling me about all the people 
around you who are celebrating their birthdays in September. It's funny that my best friend is also born on September 11. 

Don't worry, your secrets are very safe with me... ^^

Happy birthday again to your father! Please read and understand all the suggestions I gave you below. Take care and EXCELLENT JOB JENNIE!

-T Donna =)

Today Is my father's birthday.
>> Correct!
Or: Today is my father's birthday.

So my mother cooked for father.
>> Correct!
Or: So my mother cooked for Father.

Seeweed soup, jabchae etc...
>> Correct!

But I can't greet father
>> But, I cannot greet Father.

Because, I went to the cafe for part time work.
>> Correct!

So when I came back home, I ate them.
>> Correct!

It was so delicious!
>> Correct!

By the way, so many people was born in september who around me
>> By the way, so many people were born in September who  are around me.

First, my father was born september 2th.
>> First, my father was born on September 2th.

Second, my boyfriend was born september 8th.
>> Second, my boyfriend was born on September 8th.

And my one bestfriend was born eptemner 10th.
>> 
And my bestfriend was born on September 10th.

And some peoples also have birthday in september who not much close to me.
>> And some people also have their birthday in September who are not much close to me.

I have a funny story.
>> Correct!

My almost EX boyfriends was born sebtember...
>> Almost all my ex-boyfriends were born in September.

Maybe 4 people.
>> Correct!

I don't know why!
>> Correct!

Anyway It is a secret to my boyfriend Donna! Haha(hush!)
>> Correct!

Maybe november is getting cold month.
>> Maybe November is getting to be a colder month.

many people feels like lonely...in november...
>> Many people feel lonely in November.

And december is too.( chirist mas!)
>> And December is too. (Christmas!)

So...you know what I mean? Haha.
>> Correct!

Many people was born september and october!
>> Many people are born on September and October.

believe it or not ! lol
>> Believe it or not ! lol



Today I writh long story on my journal.
>> Today I wrote a long story on my journal.

Thank you for read it Donna.
>> Thank you for reading it Donna.

And please check. See you!
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110427 yes day ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 561
110426 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 308
110425 I love doing step by step~! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 449
110424 Where do you read the news every day? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110423 What do you think is the most important subject? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 226
110422 How do you treat a cold? ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 290
110421 What do you think is the color for happiness? ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 201
110420 How do you handle conflict in work? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 3
110419 home work ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 5
110418 home work on July 30 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110417 eat ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 212
110416 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 3
110415 2nd homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 2
110414 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110413 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 238
110412 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 0
110411 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 287
110410 Which one do you think is better, working in Korea or working in... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 1
110409 English Speaking Test ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 182
110408 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-30 259

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04