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ielts task 1

작성자: 이*구
2021-09-03 585

회원님의 영작문



The chart below shows the transport preference among young people from four countries.
Among all categories car has the majority in almost every countries, reaching over 40% in every nations. In addition, they are higher than other two vehicles combined, excepting Germany.
In Great Britain and U.S.A car is the most preferred transport. It’s rate reach 6%. But other vehicle are not same but similar. Great Britain’s motorcycle preference is 10% and bicycle reach 30%, while U.S.A’s record was opposite. Motorcycle reach 30% and bicycle 10%. France’s car preference was the most dominant in every given records. It reached more than 70%. In contrast, Germany’s car favor was also high but couldn’t get the first place in their country, also reach the lowest car preference in four nations. Their bicycle preference is higher than car, although gap between two sectors are close.
In conclusion, almost every given countries generally likes to drive cars more than other vehicles.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Ian!

I think that you have a very good grasp of the organization of your discussion from the introduction, body, and conclusion. There are a few grammar slips that are important for you to note:

          1.) every- this is singular in use: Every man, every person, every country, every boy, etc.
          2.)  the - study the use of this determiner in all the inserted parts of your sentences.
          3.) reach vs reached - be consistent with the use of the tense of the verb; this is a previous research so the verbs are in the past tense.

Nonetheless, this is a very well-written IELTS answer. I will rate this at 7.2 minus the grammar mistakes (-.4) , around 6.8. So work on the suggestions and see you in class next week.

Happy weekend to you!

-T. Donna =)

The chart below shows the transport preference among young people from four countries.
>> Correct!

Among all categories car has the majority in almost every countries, reaching over 40% in every nations. In addition, they are higher than other two vehicles combined, excepting Germany.
>> Among all categories, car has the majority in almost every country, reaching over 40% in every nation. In addition, they are higher than the other two vehicles combined, except in Germany.

In Great Britain and U.S.A car is the most preferred transport. It’s rate reach 6%. But other vehicle are not same but similar. 
>> In Great Britain and U.S.A, car is the most preferred transport. It’s rate reached 6%. But other vehicles are not the same but similar. 

Great Britain’s motorcycle preference is 10% and bicycle reach 30%, while U.S.A’s record was opposite. 
>> Great Britain’s motorcycle preference is 10% and bicycle reached 30%, while U.S.A’s record was the opposite. 

Motorcycle reach 30% and bicycle 10%. France’s car preference was the most dominant in every given records. 
>> Motorcycle reached 30% and bicycle 10%. France’s car preference was the most dominant in every given record. 

It reached more than 70%. In contrast, Germany’s car favor was also high but couldn’t get the first place in their country, also reach the lowest car preference in four nations. 
>> It reached more than 70%. In contrast, Germany’s car favor was also high but couldn’t get the first place in their country, also it reached the lowest car preference in four nations.

Their bicycle preference is higher than car, although gap between two sectors are close.
>> Their bicycle preference is higher than the car, although the gap between the two sectors are close.

In conclusion, almost every given countries generally likes to drive cars more than other vehicles.
>> In conclusion, almost every given country generally likes to drive cars more than other vehicles.
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