¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Nowadays, computers are vital to modern peoples\' life

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-09-03 234

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays, computers are vital to modern people. People do their homework, reports, and work in their office by the computers. So I think computers are very important, even vital to modern people. I'll cite two reasons why the computers are vital.
First, people depends on their computers too much to do their homework or work. Even there is online class to study. So if there are not computers, there will be serious confusion to all over the world.
Second, we are in the digital age, computers are vital to our lives. Computers are same with AI. World is entering to AI age so people have no choice without using computers to make some programs.
(P.S. please search YIRUMA's songs in the Youtube! It's very great!)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Nowadays, computers are vital to modern people.
>>Nowadays, computers are vital for modern people.

People do their homework, reports, and work in their office by the computers.
>> People do their homework, reports and work with computers.

So I think computers are very important, even vital to modern people. 
>> So I think computers are very important for modern people.

I'll cite two reasons why the computers are vital.
>> This is a good sentence. 

First, people depends on their computers too much to do their homework or work. 
>> First, people depend too much on their computers to do their homework or work. 

Even there is online class to study. 
>> There are even online classes.  

So if there are not computers, there will be serious confusion to all over the world.
>> So if there weren't computers, there would be a serious problem all over the world.

Second, we are in the digital age, computers are vital to our lives.
>> Second, we are in the digital age, so computers are vital for our lives.

Computers are same with AI. 
>> Computers are the same with AI.

World is entering to AI age so people have no choice without using computers to make some programs.
>> The world is entering the age of AI, so people have no choice but to use computers to make some programs.


(P.S. please search YIRUMA's songs in the Youtube! It's very great!)
- I looked for Yiruma on YouTube, and now I'm listening to River Flows in You while writing this note for you. 
I like it. It's very relaxing. Thank you for introducing me to his music, Daniel. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111331 Decorate Your Bedroom ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 212
111330 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 3
111329 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 222
111328 This, that, these, or those ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 2
111327 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 4
111326 Is it possible to avoid conflicts totally in our life? Why or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 1
111325 20th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 1
111324 Public remains poles aprt over accepting Afghan refugees À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 1
111323 homework »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 0
111322 What would you say are your biggest air travel pet peeves? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 316
111321 Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 605
111320 Most people say the book is better than the movie. Is this true... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 1
111319 If you had 3 wishes, what would it be and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 239
111318 My mom\'s favorite flower ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 259
111317 Which country do you \"NOT WISH\" to visit? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 256
111316 What country would you want to be a million miles away from... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 5
111315 What makes someone beautiful. ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 274
111314 In the future, I need to learn more about expressions that are... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 236
111313 Homework(*0v0*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 216
111312 Everyone in the family looks great, right? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 267

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04