¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented apartment rather than buying a home? Wha

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-09-06 239

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It sounds weird for Korean because most people dream to buy their own house. People are sick and tired of moving out when their contract end and owners ask tenants to pay more rental fee. Tenants can't change structure without owner's permission even they need to make a hole for installing air conditioner and It is impossible to remodel their rooms as well. In addition, people have to spend quite huge money for transportation fees, agent commission fees and taxes whenever they move out. However, there are many advantages living in rented house. People don't have to worry about the house prices which are extremely expensive. It might be impossible for newlyweds to prepare. It can be the chances to save money while they are living rented house and will get opportunity to buy their own house. Tenants don't have to care of facility.defects and maintenance because it's owner's responsibility. To sum up, there are many advantages living in rental house, I prefer to purchase my own house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang! Today is....... MY BIRTHDAY! Where is my present??? kkkk kidding!!! Anyway, thanks for your ideas on your essays. Keep writing and improve your written English. I think you're better in writing than in speaking. kkkk kidding again! Have a nice day! See you tomorrow!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
It sounds weird for Korean because most people dream to buy their own house.
>>> It sounds weird for Korean because most people dreamt of buying their own house.
 People are sick and tired of moving out when their contract end and owners ask tenants to pay more rental fees.
>>> CORRECT
 Tenants can't change structure without owner's permission even they need to make a hole for installing air conditioner and It is impossible to remodel their rooms as well. 
>>>  Tenants can't change the room's structure without the owner's permission even if they need to make a hole for installing air conditioner and it is impossible to remodel their rooms as well. 
In addition, people have to spend quite huge money for transportation fees, agent commission fees and taxes whenever they move out.
>>> CORRECT
 However, there are many advantages living in rented house.
>>> CORRECT
 People don't have to worry about the house prices which are extremely expensive.
>>> CORRECT
 It might be impossible for newlyweds to prepare. 
>>> CORRECT
It can be the chances to save money while they are living rented house and will get opportunity to buy their own house.
>>> It can be a chance to save money while they are living in a rented house and will have an opportunity to buy their own house.
 Tenants don't have to care of facility.defects and maintenance because it's owner's responsibility. 
>>>  Tenants don't have to mind about facilities' defects and maintenance because it's the owner's responsibility. 
To sum up, there are many advantages living in rental house, I prefer to purchase my own house.
>>> To sum up, there are many advantages living in rental house however, I prefer to purchase my own house.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111482 Who do you think was the best president of South Korea and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 2
111481 Who do you think was the best president of South Korea and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 148
111480 What do you think is going to happen in your life next year? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 0
111479 Make a sentence using the expression below including the... Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111478 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 183
111477 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 2
111476 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 194
111475 What benefit do polyamorous relationships have? Share your... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 174
111474 Why is English fluency significant for you? Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111473 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 0
111472 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 0
111471 Single-use plastic plates,cutlery, cups may face ban in England,... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111470 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 3
111469 23th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 3
111468 What countries do you imagine have the cleanest air? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 205
111467 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 2
111466 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111465 planning of America ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 190
111464 Where would you like to visit someday? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 199
111463 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04