¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented apartment rather than buying a home? Wha

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-09-06 248

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It sounds weird for Korean because most people dream to buy their own house. People are sick and tired of moving out when their contract end and owners ask tenants to pay more rental fee. Tenants can't change structure without owner's permission even they need to make a hole for installing air conditioner and It is impossible to remodel their rooms as well. In addition, people have to spend quite huge money for transportation fees, agent commission fees and taxes whenever they move out. However, there are many advantages living in rented house. People don't have to worry about the house prices which are extremely expensive. It might be impossible for newlyweds to prepare. It can be the chances to save money while they are living rented house and will get opportunity to buy their own house. Tenants don't have to care of facility.defects and maintenance because it's owner's responsibility. To sum up, there are many advantages living in rental house, I prefer to purchase my own house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang! Today is....... MY BIRTHDAY! Where is my present??? kkkk kidding!!! Anyway, thanks for your ideas on your essays. Keep writing and improve your written English. I think you're better in writing than in speaking. kkkk kidding again! Have a nice day! See you tomorrow!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
It sounds weird for Korean because most people dream to buy their own house.
>>> It sounds weird for Korean because most people dreamt of buying their own house.
 People are sick and tired of moving out when their contract end and owners ask tenants to pay more rental fees.
>>> CORRECT
 Tenants can't change structure without owner's permission even they need to make a hole for installing air conditioner and It is impossible to remodel their rooms as well. 
>>>  Tenants can't change the room's structure without the owner's permission even if they need to make a hole for installing air conditioner and it is impossible to remodel their rooms as well. 
In addition, people have to spend quite huge money for transportation fees, agent commission fees and taxes whenever they move out.
>>> CORRECT
 However, there are many advantages living in rented house.
>>> CORRECT
 People don't have to worry about the house prices which are extremely expensive.
>>> CORRECT
 It might be impossible for newlyweds to prepare. 
>>> CORRECT
It can be the chances to save money while they are living rented house and will get opportunity to buy their own house.
>>> It can be a chance to save money while they are living in a rented house and will have an opportunity to buy their own house.
 Tenants don't have to care of facility.defects and maintenance because it's owner's responsibility. 
>>>  Tenants don't have to mind about facilities' defects and maintenance because it's the owner's responsibility. 
To sum up, there are many advantages living in rental house, I prefer to purchase my own house.
>>> To sum up, there are many advantages living in rental house however, I prefer to purchase my own house.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111362 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-29 189
111361 HOMEWORK: Is it possible to avoid conflicts totally in our life?... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-29 207
111360 Do you prefer Korean cars or foreign cars? Share your thoughts... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 259
111359 I think expression, and grammar will be better! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 217
111358 DIRECTIONS: Please use the expressions in a sentence: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 1
111357 colonization À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 3
111356 Please correct it À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 2
111355 What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of driving... Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 3
111354 If you can eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 0
111353 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-28 202
111352 8.27 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 1
111351 Did you ever cancel an appointment? Why? Share your answer in a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 195
111350 What is the greatest innovation of the 21st century? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 1
111349 What exotic foods do you want to try and why? ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 174
111348 What do you think is the best city in Korea and why? ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 244
111347 What will you do first when you passed your interview? ¼Û*¾È ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 0
111346 Yes/No. both ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 217
111345 I\'am sad uuuuuuuuuuuuu ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 322
111344 Writing task: What are some of the advantages and disadvantages... Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 0
111343 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 250

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04