¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*À±
2021-09-06 188

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to trip to Busan with my family. Because Busan is my father¡¯s hometown. And I love to go to Busan and Busan¡¯s food like multteock etc.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun! ^^
 
That sounds like a wonderful trip! :)  

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to trip to Busan with my family. Because Busan is my father¡¯s hometown.
>> I want to go to a trip to Busan with my family because that is my father's hometown. 

 And I love to go to Busan and Busan¡¯s food like multteock etc.
>> And I love going to Busan. I look forward to the most there is the food like "Multteock". 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111721 How can you deal with someone who speaks so fast in giving... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 210
111720 meaning of Korean flag ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 197
111719 What do you like about your neighborhood? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 217
111718 Make sentences using given words ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 1
111717 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 137
111716 Writing a book ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 189
111715 what is your favorite subject at school ? why ? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 195
111714 Shine muscat was best sweet fruit i have ate Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 333
111713 homework ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 228
111712 [HOMEWORK] Why do people get upset? Kindly answer in not more... Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4
111711 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 209
111710 9.7 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111709 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 174
111708 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 185
111707 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 203
111706 plum ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 426
111705 Do you prefer your own country\'s food or other kinds of food? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111704 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 183
111703 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 198
111702 Do you like asking a lot of questions? Is it actually good to... Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04