¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think the most common crime in your country is? Do you think the emotion of hate will ev

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼±*
2021-09-07 192

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The most common crime in my county is violence closely related to our lives such as domestic, verbal, sexual, physical, and racial, etc. Nowadays almost 100 percent of news is reporting about violence. Recently, the worst news is sexual violence to his own daughter who was 20 months old and then physically harmed her. She ended up dying in her house. It sounds so terrible. I claim that this kind of person is put on a life sentence.
Another common crime is hate crime which is happening in the US. After covid 19 broke out, that hate crime to Asian Americans happens a lot, especially in the US. Some Americans are envious of rich Asian Americans, they seem to think that Asian has taken their own fortune, even Asians are not, even Asians are not American though they were born in America.
Philosophers have argued for a long time we humans were born with goodwill and bad will, so we need to be educated to do what is right to live together in society.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Sun Jung! Thank you for remembering your homework from me. I do appreciate the effort of doing so. Takec care!
~Aki :)
The most common crime in my county is violence closely related to our lives such as domestic, verbal, sexual, physical, and racial, etc.
>>> The most common crime in my county is violence which is closely related to our lives such as domestic, verbal, sexual, physical, and racial, etc.
 Nowadays, almost 100 percent of news is reporting about violence. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR >> These days, the most common content of news report has something to do with violence.
Recently, the worst news is sexual violence to his own daughter who was 20 months old and then physically harmed her. 
>>> Recently, the worst news is about a father who sexually and physically harmed his own daughter who is 20 months old.
She ended up dying in her house. It sounds so terrible. I claim that this kind of person is put on a life sentence.
>>> She ended up dying in her house. It sounds so terrible. I claim that this kind of person shall be put on a life sentence.
Another common crime is hate crime which is happening in the US. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>  another is, hate crime which is commonly happening in the US.
After covid 19 broke out, that hate crime to Asian Americans happens a lot, especially in the US. 
>>> After the outbreakof Covid19,  thahate crime to Asian- Americans happens a lot, especially in the US. 
Some Americans are envious of rich Asian Americans, they seem to think that Asian has taken their own fortune, even Asians are not, even Asians are not American though they were born in America.
>>> Some Americans are envious of rich Asian- Americans, they seem to think that Asians had taken their own fortune even if they are not. Evne these Asians are not Americans though they were born in America.
Philosophers have argued for a long time we humans were born with goodwill and bad will, so we need to be educated to do what is right to live together in society.
>>> Philosophers have argued for a long time we humans were born with good and bad will, so we need to be educated to do what is right to live together in society.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111462 What\'s the most difficult English skill for you? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 233
111461 Homework(*^U^*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 253
111460 What my mom will cook in my birthday ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 213
111459 Which among the 10 Finnish innovations has the least use? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111458 what is better to have? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 217
111457 What do you think are the qualities of a good leader? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 225
111456 Writing task: Who is a better cook, your mother or your... Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 0
111455 South Korea sends back 1 unidentified Afghan during evacuation :... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111454 13 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 220
111453 I Think a Singapore has cleanest air Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 382
111452 HOME is house with family ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 195
111451 8.31 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111450 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 195
111449 Shakespear\'s invented Words À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111448 Do you have any tips for making air travel more enjoyable? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 185
111447 What countries do you imagine have the cleanest air? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 205
111446 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 448
111445 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 156
111444 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 192
111443 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04