¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think the most common crime in your country is? Do you think the emotion of hate will ev

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼±*
2021-09-07 305

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The most common crime in my county is violence closely related to our lives such as domestic, verbal, sexual, physical, and racial, etc. Nowadays almost 100 percent of news is reporting about violence. Recently, the worst news is sexual violence to his own daughter who was 20 months old and then physically harmed her. She ended up dying in her house. It sounds so terrible. I claim that this kind of person is put on a life sentence.
Another common crime is hate crime which is happening in the US. After covid 19 broke out, that hate crime to Asian Americans happens a lot, especially in the US. Some Americans are envious of rich Asian Americans, they seem to think that Asian has taken their own fortune, even Asians are not, even Asians are not American though they were born in America.
Philosophers have argued for a long time we humans were born with goodwill and bad will, so we need to be educated to do what is right to live together in society.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Sun Jung! Thank you for remembering your homework from me. I do appreciate the effort of doing so. Takec care!
~Aki :)
The most common crime in my county is violence closely related to our lives such as domestic, verbal, sexual, physical, and racial, etc.
>>> The most common crime in my county is violence which is closely related to our lives such as domestic, verbal, sexual, physical, and racial, etc.
 Nowadays, almost 100 percent of news is reporting about violence. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR >> These days, the most common content of news report has something to do with violence.
Recently, the worst news is sexual violence to his own daughter who was 20 months old and then physically harmed her. 
>>> Recently, the worst news is about a father who sexually and physically harmed his own daughter who is 20 months old.
She ended up dying in her house. It sounds so terrible. I claim that this kind of person is put on a life sentence.
>>> She ended up dying in her house. It sounds so terrible. I claim that this kind of person shall be put on a life sentence.
Another common crime is hate crime which is happening in the US. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>  another is, hate crime which is commonly happening in the US.
After covid 19 broke out, that hate crime to Asian Americans happens a lot, especially in the US. 
>>> After the outbreakof Covid19,  thahate crime to Asian- Americans happens a lot, especially in the US. 
Some Americans are envious of rich Asian Americans, they seem to think that Asian has taken their own fortune, even Asians are not, even Asians are not American though they were born in America.
>>> Some Americans are envious of rich Asian- Americans, they seem to think that Asians had taken their own fortune even if they are not. Evne these Asians are not Americans though they were born in America.
Philosophers have argued for a long time we humans were born with goodwill and bad will, so we need to be educated to do what is right to live together in society.
>>> Philosophers have argued for a long time we humans were born with good and bad will, so we need to be educated to do what is right to live together in society.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111578 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 354
111577 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 308
111576 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 1
111575 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 441
111574 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 336
111573 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 1
111572 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 0
111571 What keeps you busy during a long trip? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 304
111570 How do you refresh your mind throughout the workday? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 437
111569 9.2 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 1
111568 Homework: What do you think is the hardest job in the world and... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 379
111567 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 610
111566 Journal ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 369
111565 Have you ever felt proud of making a mistake? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 1
111564 What makes you unhappy? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 3
111563 Who do you think was the best president of South Korea and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 305
111562 Homework(*^-^*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 234
111561 What do you think is the hardest job in the world and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 299
111560 Exercise is secret of my health. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 304
111559 Do you prefer working alone or with others? Why? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04