¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some countries are considering imposing curfews in which teenagers will not be allowed outdoors at n

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-09-07 367

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The night curfew had been in place between September 1945 and January 1982 in Korea. When it was enforced, all citizens were ordered to stay indoors from midnight until 4 a.m. Although, it is not exactly same as juvenile curfew, it is proved that curfews weren't effective to reduce crime rate. Children have to be protected by country and parents but curfews aren't the right way to keep them safe. If the main purpose is keep children away from the criminals, it create more serious crime because juvenile tends to act exactly opposite way what adults want to. Most of them may try to find the way to go out and then do accidentally such as driving car, having drug, and doing illegal things. Furthermore, it is the waste of police resources. Police officers are forced to monitor, arrest, and process curfew violations, they are unable to direct their energies to dealing with actually dangerous behavior. This leads to victims who might be able to save from the crime. To sum up, I don't agree

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

LOVELY DAY TO YOU MR. HWANG! ^^
Each and every day is a beautiful gift from God to humanity, and I pray that every good thing that life has got to offer today, will never pass you by. 
It¡¯s hope God will give you the grace, courage and strength to always make the best of each and every day. Have a great time~! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The night curfew had been in place between September 1945 and January 1982 in Korea.
>>> CORRECT
 When it was enforced, all citizens were ordered to stay indoors from midnight until 4 a.m. 
>>> CORRECT
Although, it is not exactly same as juvenile curfew, it is proved that curfews weren't effective to reduce crime rate.
>>> Although, it is not exactly the same as juvenile curfew, it proves that curfews weren't effective to reduce crime rate.
 Children have to be protected by country and parents but curfews aren't the right way to keep them safe
>>>  Children have to be protected by the country and their parents but curfews aren't the right way to keep them safe.
 If the main purpose is keep children away from the criminals, it create more serious crime because juvenile tends to act exactly opposite way what adults want to. 
>>>  If the main purpose is to keep children away from criminals, it create more serious crime because juvenile tends to act exactly opposite the way what adults want. 
Most of them may try to find the way to go out and then do accidentally such as driving car, having drug, and doing illegal things. 
>>> CORRECT
Furthermore, it a waste for police resources.
>>> CORRECT
Police officers are forced to monitor, arrest, and process curfew violations, they are unable to direct their energies to dealing with actual dangerous behavior. 
>>> CORRECT
This leads to victims who might be able to save from the crime. 
>>> CORRECT
To sum up, I don't agree...
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112873 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 362
112872 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 497
112871 1014 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 2
112870 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 529
112869 12 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 432
112868 Jobs ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112867 Have you ever decided to change the way you eat? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112866 What are your fears and how are you going to overcome them? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 663
112865 What are your fears and how are you going to overcome them? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112864 What characteristics should we look for in a candidate who is... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112863 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 403
112862 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 970
112861 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 391
112860 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 410
112859 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 2
112858 Do bad mannered people upset you? Tell me about your experience. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112857 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112856 Dancing ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 328
112855 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 427
112854 What do you like most about your culture? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 379

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04