¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your childhood?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-09-07 319

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my brother gave me the biggest impact on my chilhood besides my parents.
I was able to grow my social ability more faster and I think I had a lot of great time with my brother.
I learned how to thank to other people and how to apolosize to other people.
That's why I think my brother gave me the biggest impact on my chilhood besides my parents.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^
 
There are certain people in our lives that has made a great impact in our lives. Most of them come from our childhood. We wouldn't be who we are today without their help. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think my brother gave me the biggest impact on my chilhood besides my parents.
>>I think my brother has the biggest impact on my childhood besides my parents.

I was able to grow my social ability more faster and I think I had a lot of great time with my brother.
>> I was able to grow my social skills faster and I think I had a lot of great time with my brother.

I learned how to thank to other people and how to apolosize to other people.
>> I learned how to thank other people and how to apologize as well. 

That's why I think my brother gave me the biggest impact on my chilhood besides my parents.
>> That's why I think my brother had the biggest impact on my childhood besides my parents.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111574 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 342
111573 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 1
111572 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 0
111571 What keeps you busy during a long trip? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 310
111570 How do you refresh your mind throughout the workday? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 440
111569 9.2 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 1
111568 Homework: What do you think is the hardest job in the world and... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-03 386
111567 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 622
111566 Journal ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 371
111565 Have you ever felt proud of making a mistake? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 1
111564 What makes you unhappy? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 3
111563 Who do you think was the best president of South Korea and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 311
111562 Homework(*^-^*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 243
111561 What do you think is the hardest job in the world and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 303
111560 Exercise is secret of my health. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 307
111559 Do you prefer working alone or with others? Why? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 1
111558 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 390
111557 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 3
111556 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 325
111555 21 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-02 240

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04