¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Playing game

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-09-09 305

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I want to play something for fun, I usually play games. I think when I play game, the time passes so quickly. It can be negative effects like I can spend so much time on it. But it's good to kill time. Then I'll cite two reasons why the game is very fun. (game:Battle ground)
First, I can be nervous because the enemies, so the time passes very quickly. Nerve when I publish is different from nerve in this game. Sometimes nerve makes me feel time passes quickly, sometimes slowly.
Second, i have to focus on this game always. When I'm paying attention to something, i feel the time is passing quickly. However, because of this reason, I have to look at phone lots of time so my eyesight will be worse.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

When I want to play something for fun, I usually play games.
>> When  I want to do something fun, I usually play games.

I think when I play game, the time passes so quickly. 
>> I think when I play games, time passes so quickly. 

It can be negative effects like I can spend so much time on it. 
>> It can be bad because I spend so much time on it.

But it's good to kill time.
>> However, it's good to kill time. 

 Then I'll cite two reasons why the game is very fun. (game:Battle ground)
>> I'll cite two reasons why Battle Ground is very fun.

First, I can be nervous because the enemies, so the time passes very quickly.
>> First, it makes me nervous because of the enemies, so time passes very quickly.

Nerve when I publish is different from nerve in this game. 
>> Nerve is different from this game.

Sometimes nerve makes me feel time passes quickly, sometimes slowly.
>> Sometimes Nerve makes me feel that time passes quickly but sometimes slowly.

Second, i have to focus on this game always. 
>> Second, I always have to focus on this game.

When I'm paying attention to something, i feel the time is passing quickly. 
>> When I'm paying attention to something, I feel time is passing quickly. 

However, because of this reason, I have to look at phone lots of time so my eyesight will be worse.
>> However, because of these reasons, I have to use my phone for a long time so my eyesight could become worse.

Great job, Daniel! It's good to know that you know what will happen if you keep on using your cell phone for hours.  Try to set an alarm so that you can control how much time you're spending on your cell phone. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112685 why I will become to taller ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 266
112684 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 266
112683 Do you find politics boring? What makes it boring? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 218
112682 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 2
112681 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 4
112680 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 3
112679 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 782
112678 I forgot to cancel today¡¯s class.. È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 249
112677 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 0
112676 Can renewable energy replace fossil fuels? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 549
112675 Do you think people should be honest all the time? Why or why... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 607
112674 Why do some people invite others to visit their house ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 1
112673 What is the importance of being a good listener? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 1
112672 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 238
112671 What are the things best talked about over a drink? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 235
112670 What do you like to do outside of work? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 291
112669 How can you become a successful dentist? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 3
112668 Is it good to be creative? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 2
112667 What is your dream hospital to work at? Share your thoughts in a... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1329
112666 10.07 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04