¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Playing game

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-09-09 651

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I want to play something for fun, I usually play games. I think when I play game, the time passes so quickly. It can be negative effects like I can spend so much time on it. But it's good to kill time. Then I'll cite two reasons why the game is very fun. (game:Battle ground)
First, I can be nervous because the enemies, so the time passes very quickly. Nerve when I publish is different from nerve in this game. Sometimes nerve makes me feel time passes quickly, sometimes slowly.
Second, i have to focus on this game always. When I'm paying attention to something, i feel the time is passing quickly. However, because of this reason, I have to look at phone lots of time so my eyesight will be worse.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

When I want to play something for fun, I usually play games.
>> When  I want to do something fun, I usually play games.

I think when I play game, the time passes so quickly. 
>> I think when I play games, time passes so quickly. 

It can be negative effects like I can spend so much time on it. 
>> It can be bad because I spend so much time on it.

But it's good to kill time.
>> However, it's good to kill time. 

 Then I'll cite two reasons why the game is very fun. (game:Battle ground)
>> I'll cite two reasons why Battle Ground is very fun.

First, I can be nervous because the enemies, so the time passes very quickly.
>> First, it makes me nervous because of the enemies, so time passes very quickly.

Nerve when I publish is different from nerve in this game. 
>> Nerve is different from this game.

Sometimes nerve makes me feel time passes quickly, sometimes slowly.
>> Sometimes Nerve makes me feel that time passes quickly but sometimes slowly.

Second, i have to focus on this game always. 
>> Second, I always have to focus on this game.

When I'm paying attention to something, i feel the time is passing quickly. 
>> When I'm paying attention to something, I feel time is passing quickly. 

However, because of this reason, I have to look at phone lots of time so my eyesight will be worse.
>> However, because of these reasons, I have to use my phone for a long time so my eyesight could become worse.

Great job, Daniel! It's good to know that you know what will happen if you keep on using your cell phone for hours.  Try to set an alarm so that you can control how much time you're spending on your cell phone. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113804 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 2
113803 Writing task: How can you fight discouraging thoughts about... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 0
113802 Do you like eating fruits and vegetables? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 373
113801 Which is always the best part of your day? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 1
113800 Why I disagree about boy got a long hair. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 418
113799 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 453
113798 homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 335
113797 Do you think people who are 12-17 years old should already get... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 0
113796 1111 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 1
113795 How would you describe your country¡¯s food? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 522
113794 Apology ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 415
113793 How do you feel about tourists who visit your country? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 0
113792 Letter ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 396
113791 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 417
113790 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 1
113789 Do you like branded things? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 0
113788 why is the sky and the ocean blue explain in your own words. À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 2
113787 Prevention is better than cure. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 485
113786 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 413
113785 12-17 years old children. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 520

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04