¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Playing game

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-09-09 563

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I want to play something for fun, I usually play games. I think when I play game, the time passes so quickly. It can be negative effects like I can spend so much time on it. But it's good to kill time. Then I'll cite two reasons why the game is very fun. (game:Battle ground)
First, I can be nervous because the enemies, so the time passes very quickly. Nerve when I publish is different from nerve in this game. Sometimes nerve makes me feel time passes quickly, sometimes slowly.
Second, i have to focus on this game always. When I'm paying attention to something, i feel the time is passing quickly. However, because of this reason, I have to look at phone lots of time so my eyesight will be worse.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

When I want to play something for fun, I usually play games.
>> When  I want to do something fun, I usually play games.

I think when I play game, the time passes so quickly. 
>> I think when I play games, time passes so quickly. 

It can be negative effects like I can spend so much time on it. 
>> It can be bad because I spend so much time on it.

But it's good to kill time.
>> However, it's good to kill time. 

 Then I'll cite two reasons why the game is very fun. (game:Battle ground)
>> I'll cite two reasons why Battle Ground is very fun.

First, I can be nervous because the enemies, so the time passes very quickly.
>> First, it makes me nervous because of the enemies, so time passes very quickly.

Nerve when I publish is different from nerve in this game. 
>> Nerve is different from this game.

Sometimes nerve makes me feel time passes quickly, sometimes slowly.
>> Sometimes Nerve makes me feel that time passes quickly but sometimes slowly.

Second, i have to focus on this game always. 
>> Second, I always have to focus on this game.

When I'm paying attention to something, i feel the time is passing quickly. 
>> When I'm paying attention to something, I feel time is passing quickly. 

However, because of this reason, I have to look at phone lots of time so my eyesight will be worse.
>> However, because of these reasons, I have to use my phone for a long time so my eyesight could become worse.

Great job, Daniel! It's good to know that you know what will happen if you keep on using your cell phone for hours.  Try to set an alarm so that you can control how much time you're spending on your cell phone. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113258 Some people say that \"money makes the world go around.\" Do you... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 3
113257 There are some extreme hobbies that some people enjoy. What can... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1
113256 What motivates you to do a great job at work? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 478
113255 what I do in morning to evening ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 377
113254 Why the farm animals are important ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 345
113253 1025(3) ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 378
113252 1025(2) ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 341
113251 1025 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 349
113250 I prefer desert ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 683
113249 Which is shorter your hair or your mom\'s hair? Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 351
113248 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113247 Happy Birthday To my brother! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 718
113246 Can you name three things that you like about your job? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 1
113245 In what ways are credit cards better than cash? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 384
113244 Do you like travelling? Why? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 1126
113243 Homework from the lesson 10252021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 640
113242 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 471
113241 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 347
113240 What were the two last things that made you happy? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 2
113239 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 331

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04