¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Playing game

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-09-09 429

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I want to play something for fun, I usually play games. I think when I play game, the time passes so quickly. It can be negative effects like I can spend so much time on it. But it's good to kill time. Then I'll cite two reasons why the game is very fun. (game:Battle ground)
First, I can be nervous because the enemies, so the time passes very quickly. Nerve when I publish is different from nerve in this game. Sometimes nerve makes me feel time passes quickly, sometimes slowly.
Second, i have to focus on this game always. When I'm paying attention to something, i feel the time is passing quickly. However, because of this reason, I have to look at phone lots of time so my eyesight will be worse.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

When I want to play something for fun, I usually play games.
>> When  I want to do something fun, I usually play games.

I think when I play game, the time passes so quickly. 
>> I think when I play games, time passes so quickly. 

It can be negative effects like I can spend so much time on it. 
>> It can be bad because I spend so much time on it.

But it's good to kill time.
>> However, it's good to kill time. 

 Then I'll cite two reasons why the game is very fun. (game:Battle ground)
>> I'll cite two reasons why Battle Ground is very fun.

First, I can be nervous because the enemies, so the time passes very quickly.
>> First, it makes me nervous because of the enemies, so time passes very quickly.

Nerve when I publish is different from nerve in this game. 
>> Nerve is different from this game.

Sometimes nerve makes me feel time passes quickly, sometimes slowly.
>> Sometimes Nerve makes me feel that time passes quickly but sometimes slowly.

Second, i have to focus on this game always. 
>> Second, I always have to focus on this game.

When I'm paying attention to something, i feel the time is passing quickly. 
>> When I'm paying attention to something, I feel time is passing quickly. 

However, because of this reason, I have to look at phone lots of time so my eyesight will be worse.
>> However, because of these reasons, I have to use my phone for a long time so my eyesight could become worse.

Great job, Daniel! It's good to know that you know what will happen if you keep on using your cell phone for hours.  Try to set an alarm so that you can control how much time you're spending on your cell phone. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111639 n many situations, people who break the law should be warned... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 352
111638 How do you say clearly what\'s on your mind? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 4
111637 Monday\'s diary. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 0
111636 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 336
111635 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 6
111634 Knowing What to Buy ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 293
111633 What is my favorite season ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 369
111632 Do you know of any interesting or unique restaurants in your... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 423
111631 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 351
111630 26th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111629 Homework ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 2
111628 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 3
111627 Hyundai unveils Robotaxi À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111626 Hate crimes ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 313
111625 1. Make 3 sentences using \" What\'s ____ like? Example: What\'s... È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 437
111624 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 480
111623 The life\'s a miracle À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 3
111622 Do you always share your plans with other people? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 342
111621 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 0
111620 Why is English fluency significant for you? ¼­*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 342

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04