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What is your greatest fear?

작성자: 류*선
2021-09-10 223

회원님의 영작문

My greatest fear is time. When my free time is reduced, I feel poor. I want to manage my free time on my own well because my free time will fry fast in a wink. After my daughter goes to bed, I usually spend time cleaning out in the kitchen, rooms right away because I want to make more time for myself. During my free time, I'm struggling to improve my English because one of my big obstacles is language. When I don't communicate with people well in English, I'm very frustrated. Also, I have counseling biweekly. I want to know who I am. When I know about myself, I can keep a good relationship with people and my life will be ample. I want to stop negative thoughts in my life. It wastes my free time. Despite not having ample time to do what I want, I try to keep a positive mindset, thinking. I don't want to be overwhelmed by my environment. If the surrounding environment overwhelms me, I hope I have good energy and be influential to daughter. My free time makes me a better person. Thanks!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

I hope you discover more about yourself, Jane! Giving yourself time is the best reward for yourself!-Faith-
My greatest fear is time. 
>> CORRECT
When my free time is reduced, I feel poor. 
>> CORRECT
OR I feel sorry for myself when I don't have enough leisure time.
I want to manage my free time on my own well because my free time will fry fast in a wink. 
>> I want to manage my free time on my own well because my free time will fly fast in a wink. 
After my daughter goes to bed, I usually spend time cleaning out in the kitchen, rooms right away because I want to make more time for myself.
>> After my daughter goes to bed, I usually spend time cleaning out the kitchen and rooms right away because I want to make more time for myself.
During my free time, I'm struggling to improve my English because one of my big obstacles is language. 
>> During my free time, I struggle to improve my English because one of my big obstacles is language. 
When I don't communicate with people well in English, I'm very frustrated. 
>> When I can't communicate with people well in English, I'm very frustrated. 
Also, I have counseling biweekly. 
>> CORRECT
I want to know who I am. 
>> CORRECT
OR It's about knowing myself more.
When I know about myself, I can keep a good relationship with people and my life will be ample. 
>> When I know about myself more, I can keep a good relationship with people and my life will be ample. 
I want to stop negative thoughts in my life. 
>> CORRECT
OR I don't want to be optimistic in life.
It wastes my free time. 
>> CORRECT
Despite not having ample time to do what I want, I try to keep a positive mindset, thinking. 
>> Despite not having ample time to do what I want, I try to keep a positive mindset and thinking. 
I don't want to be overwhelmed by my environment. 
>> CORRECT
If the surrounding environment overwhelms me, I hope I have good energy and be influential to daughter. 
>> If my surrounding overwhelms me, I hope I have good energy and be influential to my daughter. 
My free time makes me a better person. 
>> CORRECT
OR My free time helps me become the better version of myself.
Thanks!
>> CORRECT
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