¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My opinion about eating healthy

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-09-10 361

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree with the opinion that the eating habit of younger generation effects on their health negatively. As the fast food spread largely in our lives, many children can usually eat them. They are attracted by the taste because it¡¯s more stimulating than other food which is not salty and sweet. Children get used to fast food and do not want to eat healthy food. I think it makes their health worse. Fast food includes high fat, and it has high calories. The more fat they eat, the worse their health. As this reason, I think children should change their eating habit healthier than the past.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello RIA!  Thank you for giving your opinion regarding this topic. I truly appreciate your thoughts. ^_^
T. Irene
I agree with the opinion that the eating habit of younger generation effects on their health negatively. 
>>> I agree with the opinion that the eating habit of younger generation affects  their health negatively. 
As the fast food spread largely in our lives, many children can usually eat them. 
>>> As fast foods are getting popular and common, it became easier for many children to avail of them. 
They are attracted by the taste because it¡¯s more stimulating than other food which is not salty and sweet. 
>>> They are attracted by the taste because it¡¯s more stimulating than other foods which are not salty and sweet. 
Children get used to fast food and do not want to eat healthy food. 
>>> Children got used to fast food and do not want to eat healthy food. 
I think it makes their health worse. 
>>> I think it makes their health suffer. 
Fast food includes high fat, and it has high calories. 
>>> Fast food includes high fat  and calories. 
The more fat they eat, the worse their health. 
>>> The more fat they eat, the worse their health becomes. 
As this reason, I think children should change their eating habit healthier than the past.
>>>  For this reason, I think children should change their eating habits into a healthier one than the past.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111262 HOMEWORK: Why is honesty important? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 448
111261 Describe how you get when you¡¯re moody in a few sentences. ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 2
111260 Do you always believe the media? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 2
111259 8/25: My Money~~~~ ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 322
111258 Famous place of Seoul ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 384
111257 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 371
111256 If you had 3 wishes, what would it be and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 342
111255 4th ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 1
111254 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 6
111253 61 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 391
111252 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 332
111251 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 0
111250 Writing on skype ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 315
111249 Writing on skype ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 480
111248 Writing on skype ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 315
111247 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 326
111246 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 424
111245 Homework {08/25} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 297
111244 18th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 3
111243 If you had 3 wishes, what would it be and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 482

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04