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please open the pile and revise the passage in the pile~

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*Áø
2021-09-11 350

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



if you can't open the pile, you don't have to revise and just send a message~

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Shin!
I think what you mean is "chef" since you're talking about a job. Other than this word, most of your terms are good. I also suggested some revisions. Please don't forget to use the correct punctuation marks as well. Well done! Thank you. ^^
~Elica~

There are many interesting job these days, but the first think that comes to mind is a cook. 

>>There are many interesting jobs these days, but the first thing that comes to mind is a chef. 

There are many types of cooks such as western food cooks, Japanese food cooks and Korean food cooks. 

>>There are many types of chefs, such as Western food chefs, Japanese food chefs, and Korean food chefs. 

All these types of cooks produce creative meal with their own ideas.

>>All these types of chefs produce creative meals with their ideas. 

 

Surprisingly, none of these cooking jobs really requires a specific education. 

>>Surprisingly, none of these cooking jobs require specific education. 

Some cooks can make it with just natural talent. 

>>Some chefs can make it with just natural talent. 

In Korea, however, many people study fundamental skills and nutrition to be a cook. 

>>In Korea, however, many people study fundamental skills and nutrition to be a cook. 

Whether they have formal education or natural talent, all cooks must have observational skills and diverse experiences

>>Whether they have formal education or natural talent, all chefs must have observational skills and diverse experiences.

 

  There are a couple of reasons why this job is interesting. 

  >>CORRECT

  First, cooks can satisfy the taste of people. 

  >>First, chefs can satisfy the cravings of people. 

  Second they can share their ideas and cause impressive reactions form so many people. 

  >>Second, they can share their ideas and impress so many people. 

  Third, I think cooking is very special because cooks should continuously make a challenge to come up with new ideas.

  >>Third, I think cooking is very special because chefs should continuously challenge themselves to come up with new ideas. 

  In some parts of jobs, people feel boredom and the need for stimulation due to the same routine. 

 >>In some jobs, people get bored and feel the need for stimulation due to the same routine. 

  However, the work of cooks encourages themselves to challenge in their mind

  >>However, their job encourages every chef to keep challenging their minds themselves. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
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