¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Monday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-09-13 440

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What makes someone beautiful in your country?
A:I think being good to other people or being kind makes someone beautiful.
Actually, I'm not sure about it because I don't care about it, but I think good people or kind people would look beautiful.
Also, even if people look beautiful, their mind can not be good so, people need to know their mind not their exterior.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think being good to other people or being kind makes someone beautiful.

>> CORRECT!
Actually, I'm not sure about it because I don't care about it, but I think good people or kind people would look beautiful.

>> Actually, I'm not sure about it because I don't care much about it, but I think good or kind people look beautiful.
Also, even if people look beautiful, their mind can not be good so, people need to know their mind not their exterior.

>> Also, even if people look beautiful but their mind is not, they need to focus more on their thoughts and not their exterior.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111002 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 2
111001 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 389
111000 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 1
110999 page 43 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 460
110998 Civil War In Afghanistan Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 303
110997 I\'m more comfortable about boys. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 491
110996 I want to change something... ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 4
110995 Why do you think body language is important? ·ù*ÁÖ ÁøÇàÁß 2021-08-18 891
110994 Homework Àü*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 373
110993 Our health ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 1
110992 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 311
110991 In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 398
110990 Email ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 1
110989 My favorite food ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 366
110988 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 492
110987 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 437
110986 15th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 2
110985 Winter ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 489
110984 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 4
110983 21/08/17 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-18 604

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04