¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can add a room to your house, what room would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-09-13 187

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom.
I want to be an artist so I have to practice creating my songs and lyrics.
And I don't have things to do that and my room is so small to do that.
I also love to draw and write.
And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some insperation.
So if I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom in my house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

That sounds great! You would feel more motivated in pursuing your dreams. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom.
>> If I can add a room in my house, I want it to be my workroom.

I want to be an artist so I have to practice creating my songs and lyrics.
>> CORRECT

And I don't have things to do that and my room is so small to do that.
>> And I don't have a place to do that and my room is so small. 

I also love to draw and write.
>> CORRECT

And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some insperation.
>> 
And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some inspiration.

So if I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom in my house.
>>So if I can add a room in my house, I want it to be my workroom.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111970 9.14 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 1
111969 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 308
111968 life without cell phone ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 241
111967 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 1
111966 Questions ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 1
111965 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 0
111964 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 0
111963 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 0
111962 Why do you think obesity is becoming such a problem in the... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 1
111961 Homework~~~~~~~~~!!!!! ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 215
111960 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 3
111959 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 240
111958 Homework 9.14 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 251
111957 61 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 173
111956 What kind of food reminds you of your childhood and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 207
111955 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 243
111954 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 234
111953 In Seoul, where I live, Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 268
111952 What it the most important thing among 4 skills(Reading,... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 2
111951 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-14 683

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04