¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can add a room to your house, what room would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-09-13 273

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom.
I want to be an artist so I have to practice creating my songs and lyrics.
And I don't have things to do that and my room is so small to do that.
I also love to draw and write.
And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some insperation.
So if I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom in my house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

That sounds great! You would feel more motivated in pursuing your dreams. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom.
>> If I can add a room in my house, I want it to be my workroom.

I want to be an artist so I have to practice creating my songs and lyrics.
>> CORRECT

And I don't have things to do that and my room is so small to do that.
>> And I don't have a place to do that and my room is so small. 

I also love to draw and write.
>> CORRECT

And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some insperation.
>> 
And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some inspiration.

So if I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom in my house.
>>So if I can add a room in my house, I want it to be my workroom.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110666 Homework 7 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 0
110665 letter ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 4
110664 Homework 6 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 2
110663 In Defence of Millennials ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 130
110662 If you could have a superpower, what superpower would it be and... È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 3
110661 Feedback À¯*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 3
110660 The reason why I think culture is important ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 184
110659 What is the advantage of a four-day work week? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 228
110658 Do you think you can be a good athlete is you are younger? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 130
110657 Introduction script in interview ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 185
110656 What can you find in a rural area? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 206
110655 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 0
110654 Page 9 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-09 197
110653 small talk Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 136
110652 What do you think should the government about the homeless... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 219
110651 Day 5 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 198
110650 Special food. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 1
110649 What kind of device should be invented in order for our lives to... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-08 0
110648 Is always coming late a bad habit? Why? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-07 0
110647 warriors ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-07 191

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04