¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can add a room to your house, what room would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-09-13 305

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom.
I want to be an artist so I have to practice creating my songs and lyrics.
And I don't have things to do that and my room is so small to do that.
I also love to draw and write.
And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some insperation.
So if I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom in my house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

That sounds great! You would feel more motivated in pursuing your dreams. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom.
>> If I can add a room in my house, I want it to be my workroom.

I want to be an artist so I have to practice creating my songs and lyrics.
>> CORRECT

And I don't have things to do that and my room is so small to do that.
>> And I don't have a place to do that and my room is so small. 

I also love to draw and write.
>> CORRECT

And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some insperation.
>> 
And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some inspiration.

So if I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom in my house.
>>So if I can add a room in my house, I want it to be my workroom.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110530 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 186
110529 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 2
110528 More Koreans suffer mental disorders amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 1
110527 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 146
110526 What is the essence of learning English È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 8
110525 generation gap ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 236
110524 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 0
110523 What should you never miss putting your bag? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 282
110522 Using Internet charge Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 216
110521 What is one policy for women in Korea that you appreciate? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 2
110520 What do you think is the most important subject? Explain your... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 215
110519 homework : do you think it is better to give time or money? ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 259
110518 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 200
110517 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 232
110516 What is in your bucket list? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 1
110515 Do you think it\'s necessary to move out of your parents house... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 218
110514 a killing time ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 3
110513 What is the most difficult decision that you have had to make? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 143
110512 How would your friends describe you? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 286
110511 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-03 197

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04