¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can add a room to your house, what room would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-09-13 454

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom.
I want to be an artist so I have to practice creating my songs and lyrics.
And I don't have things to do that and my room is so small to do that.
I also love to draw and write.
And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some insperation.
So if I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom in my house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

That sounds great! You would feel more motivated in pursuing your dreams. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom.
>> If I can add a room in my house, I want it to be my workroom.

I want to be an artist so I have to practice creating my songs and lyrics.
>> CORRECT

And I don't have things to do that and my room is so small to do that.
>> And I don't have a place to do that and my room is so small. 

I also love to draw and write.
>> CORRECT

And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some insperation.
>> 
And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some inspiration.

So if I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom in my house.
>>So if I can add a room in my house, I want it to be my workroom.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111424 If you were the boss of your own clinic, what amenity or benefit... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 364
111423 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 0
111422 What do you think is going to happen in your life next year? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 377
111421 Kate!!! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 16
111420 What is the goal of your meeting in Seoul tomorrow? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 7
111419 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 293
111418 Will said, \"All the world\'s a stage.\" Is it true? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111417 Which amongst the 10 Finnish innovations do you think is the... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111416 Seoul Ranked 25th Safest City in the World À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111415 i\'m tired.................. ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 326
111414 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 345
111413 library of the future ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 328
111412 Do you want your children to have their own cars at this point... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 347
111411 The hardest job: house wife ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 362
111410 21 homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111409 8.30 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111408 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 6
111407 HOMEWORK: Do you think it\'s disrespectful to argue with your... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 412
111406 ielts task 2 ÀÌ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 372
111405 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 336

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04