¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Claire\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-09-13 370

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Claire

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!

Another job well done for your composition today. Keep up the good work! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


Yes. I will show some reasons that will support my following opinion through this essay.

>>CORRECT

Nowadays, because of a sudden increase of price of properties of apartments in Seoul rich man in Korea is getting richer, such as people who have properties in Seoul.

>>Nowadays, because of a sudden increase in the price of properties of apartments in Seoul, the rich men in Korea are getting richer, such as people who have properties in Seoul.

Also, poor people are growing poor especially nowadays because of pandemics.

>>Also, poor people are growing poorer especially nowadays because of the pandemic.

Because of a butterfly effect.

>>It's because of a butterfly effect. 

World economics is unstable these days because of Covid19.

>>CORRECT

Many start ups closed their businesses and the price of products increased.

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114063 My school homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1350
114062 Especially, It has two questions today~~ ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 250
114061 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114060 What is your proudest accomplishment so far this year? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114059 Do you think things will go back to the way they used to before... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 0
114058 Nonregular jobs incerase faster in 5 major cities À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114057 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114056 What is the most interesting city to visit in your country? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1119
114055 DonQuixote ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 213
114054 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114053 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 3
114052 1122 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114051 1122 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114050 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 301
114049 Who always notices first when you make a mistake? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114048 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 238
114047 What is the importance of being on time? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114046 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 238
114045 1121 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 171
114044 11.19 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-21 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04