¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Claire\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-09-13 287

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Claire

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!

Another job well done for your composition today. Keep up the good work! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


Yes. I will show some reasons that will support my following opinion through this essay.

>>CORRECT

Nowadays, because of a sudden increase of price of properties of apartments in Seoul rich man in Korea is getting richer, such as people who have properties in Seoul.

>>Nowadays, because of a sudden increase in the price of properties of apartments in Seoul, the rich men in Korea are getting richer, such as people who have properties in Seoul.

Also, poor people are growing poor especially nowadays because of pandemics.

>>Also, poor people are growing poorer especially nowadays because of the pandemic.

Because of a butterfly effect.

>>It's because of a butterfly effect. 

World economics is unstable these days because of Covid19.

>>CORRECT

Many start ups closed their businesses and the price of products increased.

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113071 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1
113070 What food do you always order online? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 298
113069 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 458
113068 Human beings are being judged according to their social status... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 424
113067 musical instrument ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 250
113066 what I will wear in my school ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 227
113065 My bad behaviors ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 198
113064 What are your hopes before this year ends? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 748
113063 What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 212
113062 How to response to customer À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 246
113061 sad ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 237
113060 Dinosaurs ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 208
113059 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1
113058 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 4
113057 Writing Task: What would you say is the best thing about the... ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2
113056 What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 275
113055 In what ways can you help more people? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2
113054 Best thing of birthplace ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 214
113053 When it comes to selling a product or service, you have to know... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 886
113052 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 152

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04