¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Claire\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-09-13 580

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Claire

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!

Another job well done for your composition today. Keep up the good work! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


Yes. I will show some reasons that will support my following opinion through this essay.

>>CORRECT

Nowadays, because of a sudden increase of price of properties of apartments in Seoul rich man in Korea is getting richer, such as people who have properties in Seoul.

>>Nowadays, because of a sudden increase in the price of properties of apartments in Seoul, the rich men in Korea are getting richer, such as people who have properties in Seoul.

Also, poor people are growing poor especially nowadays because of pandemics.

>>Also, poor people are growing poorer especially nowadays because of the pandemic.

Because of a butterfly effect.

>>It's because of a butterfly effect. 

World economics is unstable these days because of Covid19.

>>CORRECT

Many start ups closed their businesses and the price of products increased.

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113229 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 507
113228 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 532
113227 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 443
113226 HELLO Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 432
113225 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 1
113224 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 2
113223 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 1
113222 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 491
113221 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 2
113220 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 345
113219 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 2
113218 Brushing ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 437
113217 What do you think is the easiest thing about learning English? ¹®*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 1
113216 What culture in South Korea are you most proud of? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 619
113215 what makes you happy? or stressed? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113214 Most proud culture in Korea ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 950
113213 Which is longer, a snake or a worm? Àü*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 362
113212 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 556
113211 10.22 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113210 Where do you always get information? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04