¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Claire\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-09-13 324

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Claire

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!

Another job well done for your composition today. Keep up the good work! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


Yes. I will show some reasons that will support my following opinion through this essay.

>>CORRECT

Nowadays, because of a sudden increase of price of properties of apartments in Seoul rich man in Korea is getting richer, such as people who have properties in Seoul.

>>Nowadays, because of a sudden increase in the price of properties of apartments in Seoul, the rich men in Korea are getting richer, such as people who have properties in Seoul.

Also, poor people are growing poor especially nowadays because of pandemics.

>>Also, poor people are growing poorer especially nowadays because of the pandemic.

Because of a butterfly effect.

>>It's because of a butterfly effect. 

World economics is unstable these days because of Covid19.

>>CORRECT

Many start ups closed their businesses and the price of products increased.

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111789 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 1
111788 Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 240
111787 If I will visit your city, what restaurant would you recommend... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 248
111786 Should a person work after graduation? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 402
111785 About Eldorado book À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 1
111784 IELTS writing task1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 4
111783 What are the most important things your parents taught you? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 2
111782 Friday review! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 288
111781 9.8 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 1
111780 A thing what i bought made me happy best ever. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 316
111779 Why people are upset? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 207
111778 Hi Kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 6
111777 home work ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 219
111776 How to study English ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 0
111775 What is your country\'s weakness? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 1
111774 It\'s made me happy!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 749
111773 My role in some movie ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 290
111772 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 227
111771 0908 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 0
111770 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 239

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04