¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Claire\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-09-13 537

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Claire

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!

Another job well done for your composition today. Keep up the good work! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


Yes. I will show some reasons that will support my following opinion through this essay.

>>CORRECT

Nowadays, because of a sudden increase of price of properties of apartments in Seoul rich man in Korea is getting richer, such as people who have properties in Seoul.

>>Nowadays, because of a sudden increase in the price of properties of apartments in Seoul, the rich men in Korea are getting richer, such as people who have properties in Seoul.

Also, poor people are growing poor especially nowadays because of pandemics.

>>Also, poor people are growing poorer especially nowadays because of the pandemic.

Because of a butterfly effect.

>>It's because of a butterfly effect. 

World economics is unstable these days because of Covid19.

>>CORRECT

Many start ups closed their businesses and the price of products increased.

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112423 At what age do people usually begin to work in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 1
112422 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 363
112421 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 2
112420 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 460
112419 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 665
112418 Is there anything that does not yet exist that you would like to... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 1
112417 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 432
112416 Movies and computer games containing violence are popular. Some... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 371
112415 HOMEWORK ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 421
112414 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 2
112413 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? Explain... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 385
112412 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 0
112411 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 1
112410 Do you watch any TV show? What TV programs interest you? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 341
112409 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 392
112408 Should adults with jobs still live with their parents but pay... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 0
112407 Should parents help their children plan their future? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 1
112406 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-01 1
112405 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? Explain... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 312
112404 Games are not just games ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 293

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04