¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The reason that our family is very important.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¶û
2021-09-13 382

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Family is one of the essential things in our life. Family is the only person we can trust and rely on when we are having a hard time. Even if there are more than 10 members of a family, if at least one of them is suffering and sad, the family is the one who suffers and grieves together with one heart and one mind. "Family" means "one people living in one house with one meaning". They empathize with each other, they know me better than anyone else, and therefore they can rely on and trust each other more. For this reason, I can say that family is very important.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Maria! ^_^

I totally agree with you in this composition.
No one and nothing in this world can ever replace our family, so we have to show them how much we love and cherish them, okay?
We can talk about this in class if ever you have some questions. See you later!^^

__T. Mayleen :)


Family is one of the essential things in our life.
>>> CORRECT
Family is the only person we can trust and rely on when we are having a hard time.
>>> We can trust and rely on our family when we are having a hard time.
Even if there are more than 10 members of a family, if at least one of them is suffering and sad, the family is the one who suffers and grieves together with one heart and one mind.
>>> Even if there are more than 10 members in a family, if at least one of them is suffering and feeling sad, the others will also share the pain with one heart and one mind.
"Family" means "one people living in one house with one meaning".
>>> Family means the person or people who care about you.
They empathize with each other, they know me better than anyone else, and therefore they can rely on and trust each other more.
>>> They empathize with each other; they know me better than anyone else; and therefore, they can trust and rely on each other more.
For this reason, I can say that family is very important.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113072 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 377
113071 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1
113070 What food do you always order online? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 455
113069 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 754
113068 Human beings are being judged according to their social status... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 567
113067 musical instrument ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 531
113066 what I will wear in my school ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 374
113065 My bad behaviors ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 370
113064 What are your hopes before this year ends? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1062
113063 What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 435
113062 How to response to customer À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 371
113061 sad ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 426
113060 Dinosaurs ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 320
113059 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1
113058 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 4
113057 Writing Task: What would you say is the best thing about the... ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2
113056 What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 491
113055 In what ways can you help more people? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2
113054 Best thing of birthplace ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 378
113053 When it comes to selling a product or service, you have to know... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1071

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04