¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The reason that our family is very important.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¶û
2021-09-13 345

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Family is one of the essential things in our life. Family is the only person we can trust and rely on when we are having a hard time. Even if there are more than 10 members of a family, if at least one of them is suffering and sad, the family is the one who suffers and grieves together with one heart and one mind. "Family" means "one people living in one house with one meaning". They empathize with each other, they know me better than anyone else, and therefore they can rely on and trust each other more. For this reason, I can say that family is very important.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Maria! ^_^

I totally agree with you in this composition.
No one and nothing in this world can ever replace our family, so we have to show them how much we love and cherish them, okay?
We can talk about this in class if ever you have some questions. See you later!^^

__T. Mayleen :)


Family is one of the essential things in our life.
>>> CORRECT
Family is the only person we can trust and rely on when we are having a hard time.
>>> We can trust and rely on our family when we are having a hard time.
Even if there are more than 10 members of a family, if at least one of them is suffering and sad, the family is the one who suffers and grieves together with one heart and one mind.
>>> Even if there are more than 10 members in a family, if at least one of them is suffering and feeling sad, the others will also share the pain with one heart and one mind.
"Family" means "one people living in one house with one meaning".
>>> Family means the person or people who care about you.
They empathize with each other, they know me better than anyone else, and therefore they can rely on and trust each other more.
>>> They empathize with each other; they know me better than anyone else; and therefore, they can trust and rely on each other more.
For this reason, I can say that family is very important.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112609 Strolling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112608 Discussion ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 390
112607 Business item for Pandemic ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 387
112606 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 569
112605 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 411
112604 HOMEWORK: If you can change something from the past, what will... ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 0
112603 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 359
112602 Make 5 sentences to describe your study room and post it on the... ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 763
112601 Writing Correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 384
112600 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 483
112599 Writing Correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 649
112598 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112597 Homework [10/06} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 375
112596 Are these correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 481
112595 Are there any problems with jellyfish or sharks at your local... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 0
112594 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 386
112593 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112592 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 527
112591 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 354
112590 Why is language important? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04