¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Keep health by exercising

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-09-15 342

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think exercise is necessary thing to keep health. The biggest reason is we can't live without exercise because when we eat cholesterol and sugar stack up in our blood. If cholesterol and sugar stack up in our blood too much, it can be very serious disease. Other reason is kids don't exercise they will be short and fat, unhealthy people, and when they become adults, there'll be lots of adult diseases. However exercise can care these problems, so I think exercise is very important thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I think exercise is necessary thing to keep health. 
>> I think exercise is necessary to keep oneself healthy.

The biggest reason is we can't live without exercise because when we eat cholesterol and sugar stack up in our blood.
>> If we consume a lot of cholesterol foods and sugar and don't exercise, cholesterol and sugar will be stuck in our blood. 

 If cholesterol and sugar stack up in our blood too much, it can be very serious disease. 
>> If they get stuck in our blood, it can cause a very serious disease.

Other reason is kids don't exercise they will be short and fat, unhealthy people, and when they become adults, there'll be lots of adult diseases.
>> Moreover, if kids don't exercise, they will be short and fat unhealthy people, and when they become adults, they'll get lots of diseases.

 However exercise can care these problems, so I think exercise is very important thing.
>> However, exercise can take care of these problems, so I think exercise is a very important thing.


Great job, Daniel! Exercising is indeed important.  I hope you really try to move a lot so that you get the exercise you need.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111444 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 265
111443 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 6
111442 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 243
111441 What do you think is going to happen in your life next year? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 251
111440 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 266
111439 friend ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 245
111438 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 300
111437 22th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111436 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111435 Senses ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 247
111434 On ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111433 page 17 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 296
111432 How do you think other people see you when you make a mistake? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111431 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111430 Is it morally right to spend a lot of money on pets, rather than... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 0
111429 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111428 What comes to mind when you hear the word \'refugee\'? °í*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111427 Do you have any tips for making air travel more enjoyable? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 268
111426 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111425 Describe your favorite city in South Korea ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 276

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04