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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

speaking-3rd

작성자: 신*진
2021-09-22 390

회원님의 영작문



Thank you~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Shin!

Thank you for this entry. I observed some capitalizations and punctuations issues in this entry. There were also some sentences that I arranged to sound better. For questions, you know where to find me. ^^

~Elica~

Yes, I think so. 

>>CORRECT

I thought before my birthday was important due to the day for me. 

>>Before I thought that my birthday was an important day because it's the day for me. 

However, now, I consider my birthday is the day for my parents. 

>>However, now, I consider my birthday a day for my parents.

so, I tell my parents thank you for raising me and give them some presents

>>I thank my parents for raising me and give them some presents.

 

Mostly I spent my birthday with my friends until 27 or so. 

>>CORRECT

Several years ago, I realized my birthday was not the day for me, the day for my parents. 

>>CORRECT

After that, I have spent my birthday with my family and make sure I tell my parents thank you for raising me.

>>After that, I have spent my birthday with my family and make sure that I thank my parents for raising me.

 

Yes, I think so because being on time is the promise with others. 

>>CORRECT

As we commonly, any promise have to be kept. 

>>As we commonly know, any promise has to be kept. 

Time is one of the most invaluable things and I think being late practically is stealing waiter’s time

>>Time is one of the most invaluable things and I think being late is practically stealing the waiter’s time.

 

Yes, I think so. 

>>CORRECT

the evenings on the weekends are the leisure time for hobbies, whereas the evenings on the weekdays are just the relaxing time for the duties of next day. 

>>The evenings on the weekends are the leisure time for hobbies, whereas the evenings on the weekdays are just the relaxing time for the duties of the next day.

in my case, I often enjoy watching a movie the evening on the weekends to relieve stress and feel happy

>>In my case, I often enjoy watching a movie in the evening on the weekends to relieve stress and feel happy.

 

I usually go to the public library to study English on weekend.

>>CORRECT

As usual, i’m going to go to the library on this weekend and next weekend too. 

>>As usual, I'm going to go to the library this weekend and next weekend too. 

I promised myself to give up my weekends until obtaining my target IELTS score. 

>>CORRECT

sometimes I really want to hang out with my friends on weekend, but i’m more keen to go to Canada than those

>>Sometimes I want to hang out with my friends on weekends, but I'm keener to go to Canada than those.

 

Yes, I love to do that. 

>>CORRECT

When I was young, my mom had me do some housework like washing the dishes. 

>>CORRECT

At first, I felt tired of the housework, but later I found that it was my mom’s education for me to learn a sense of responsibility. 

>>CORRECT

So I’ll make my children do the same thing as I did since it was one of the best ways to learn a sense of responsibility.

>>CORRECT

 

it’s different depending on time and place. 

>>It’s different depending on time and place. 

before adapting the office’s environment and being close with colleagues, I prefer to work alone because I tend to mistake more if I don't focus on my duties. 

>>Before adopting the office environment and being close with colleagues, I prefer to work alone because I tend to mistake more if I don't focus on my duties. 

but after that, it’s better to interact with peers, sharing my ideas because we can produce more creative ideas.

>>After that, it’s better to interact with peers and share my ideas because we can produce more creative ideas.

 

I think working in a group is needed when we need creative ideas. 

>>CORRECT

I believe creative ideas originate from diverse experiences. 

>>CORRECT

it means my ideas can be limited. 

>>It means my ideas can be limited.

it’s better to interact with peers, sharing my ideas because we can produce more creative ideas 

>>It’s better to interact with peers, sharing my ideas because we can produce more creative ideas.


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