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What important things you should always check these days?

작성자: 류*선
2021-09-22 250

회원님의 영작문

I need to check my daughter's skin every day because she has atopic eczema. I have to prepare her food according to her skin condition. It is not easy for me. Due to her skin condition is changed by weather or foods. I also have atopic eczema. So she resembles me. I feel so sorry about that. The reason is that I know this suffering of skin problems. If her skin condition is not good, she doesn't sleep well at night. She herself scratch her skin strongly. So my concern is her skin and her food. After she goes to bed, I need to research about atopic eczema. Even though she has skin problems, she is very energetic and strong.
On the other hand, I myself try to check my body condition. After I gave birth to my daughter, I realized my body condition isn't good. I have to do exercise. However, I usually postpone exercise in my daily plan because I usually feel exhausted. I will try to exercise again. I hope my daughter and I recover well!

Thank your!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Jane! I couldn't imagine what you and your daughter feel but I believe you will be healed by our Almighty God!-Faith-
I need to check my daughter's skin every day because she has atopic eczema. 
>> CORRECT
OR I carefully examine my daughter's skin every day due to her atopic eczema.
I have to prepare her food according to her skin condition. 
>> CORRECT 
OR I have to prepare her food that couldn't trigger her skin condition. 
It is not easy for me. 
>> CORRECT 
OR It's really challenging.
Due to her skin condition is changed by weather or foods. 
>> Her skin condition is changed by weather or foods. 
I also have atopic eczema. 
>> CORRECT
So she resembles me. 
>> CORRECT
OR Sadly, she takes if after me.
I feel so sorry about that. 
>> CORRECT
The reason is that I know this suffering of skin problems. 
>> The reason why I feel that way is that I know the suffering of having this skin problem. 
If her skin condition is not good, she doesn't sleep well at night. 
>> If her skin condition is not good, she can't sleep well at night. 
She herself scratch her skin strongly. So my concern is her skin and her food. 
>> She herself scratches her skin strongly so my concern is her skin and her food. 
After she goes to bed, I need to research about atopic eczema. 
>> CORRECT
Even though she has skin problems, she is very energetic and strong.
>> CORRECT
OR Even though she has skin problems, she is vigorous.
On the other hand, I myself try to check my body condition. 
>> On the other hand, I myself try to check my body condition too. 
After I gave birth to my daughter, I realized my body condition isn't good. 
>> CORRECT 
I have to do exercise. 
>> CORRECT
OR I must have a regular exercise.
However, I usually postpone exercise in my daily plan because I usually feel exhausted. 
>> CORRECT 
OR However, I usually postpone exercise in my daily routine because I usually feel exhausted. 
I will try to exercise again. 
>> CORRECT 
I hope my daughter and I recover well!
>> CORRECT 
Thank your!
>> CORRECT 
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