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ielts task 2 part 1

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*±¸
2021-09-22 761

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



It is true that people can easily access to Internet as the technology developed day by day. Also we can get some advices from Internet to solve a number of tasks.
It sounds really nice but it said ¡®where there is light, there is also shadows.¡¯ Because Internet is really huge, containing enormous amount of information, not everything is correct in this world.
In the positive view, Internet has been used to give information what people wanted to know, and this process had gone pretty well. There are lots of sites that gives lots of information like ¡®Wikipedia¡¯, accessing by searching engines like ¡®Google¡¯. And these kinds of searching sites give us an official information without any lies.
However, not every sites are giving us right data. In some community sites like ¡®reddit¡¯ or ¡®4chan¡¯ what is really famous can provide us wrong information that can confuse people. Because Internet world is granted anonymous, they can tell lies or fake news whenever they want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ian!

I am happy to see you here on the composition page even on a holiday. The suggestions in red marks do not mean that you committed a lot of mistakes. There are only a few omission of some unnecessary words or insertion of the correct expression or vocabulary. Moreover, be extra cautious about your subject-verb agreement specially when it comes to "every". The content and construction of thought is well buttressed and discussed. Very good!

I hope that you were able to practice well during Chuseok. See you tomorrow in class!

-T. Donna =)

It is true that people can easily access to Internet as the technology developed day by day. Also we can get some advices from Internet to solve a number of tasks.
>> It is true that people can easily access the Internet as technology develops day by day. Also, we can get some advice from the Internet to solve a number of tasks.

It sounds really nice but it said ¡®where there is light, there is also shadows.¡¯ Because Internet is really huge, containing enormous amount of information, not everything is correct in this world.
>> It sounds really nice but it is said that ¡®where there is light, there are also shadows.¡¯ Because Internet is really huge, containing enormous amount of information may mislead some because not everything is correct in this world.

In the positive view, Internet has been used to give information what people wanted to know, and this process had gone pretty well. 
>> On a positive view, Internet has been used to give information on what people wanted to know, and this process had gone pretty well. 

There are lots of sites that gives lots of information like ¡®Wikipedia¡¯, accessing by searching engines like ¡®Google¡¯. And these kinds of searching sites give us an official information without any lies.
>>  There are lots of sites that give lots of information like the Wikipedia, accessing it by searching engines like ¡®Google¡¯. And these kinds of searching sites give us an official information without any lies.

However, not every sites are giving us right data. In some community sites like ¡®reddit¡¯ or ¡®4chan¡¯ what is really famous can provide us wrong information that can confuse people. Because Internet world is granted anonymous, they can tell lies or fake news whenever they want.
>> However, not every site is giving us the right data. In some community sites like Reddit or 4chan what is really famous can provide us wrong information that can confuse people. Because the Internet world is granted anonymous, they can tell lies or fake news whenever they want.
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