무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

ielts task 2 part 2

작성자: 이*구
2021-09-22 206

회원님의 영작문



In this way, communities can consider these data as a real one. And after that, it is really hard to change what is already attached in one’s brain. For example, people in our country has believed that turning on a fan while sleeping can lead us to death, because fan can flew away fresh air. It first came out in 1990s from somewhere and spread through out the whole country. This has been proved to be a lie but lots of people believed this myth until 2010s.
This development contains good and bad results. But gaining official information become easier than the past. In conclusion, it’s a positive development that people can use Internet to do tasks.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there again Ian!

Your introduction must present a clear stand/ stance about the increasing number of internet tasks, if it is positive or negative. This question is asking if the increasing number of activities done simultaneously such as  gaming, chatting online, working by answering e-mail, researching, playing music, among others all done in a single time is good or bad.

Before you discuss your examples, make sure to answer first if it is positive or negative then give an example and conclude at the end.

For example: Multi-tasking is one of the most positive developments brought about by the Internet. We cannot discount the fact that most of the office work as well as entertainment and other Internet-related activities can all be accomplished in one sitting...(positive stand)

Or: The Internet has complicated the lives of people overtime due to its multi-faceted function. There is lack of focus to finish a task due to so many sites one visits by the time the Internet is explored...(negative stand)

Anyway, see how you can have a very strong start and an even stronger finish. Thanks for sending me this to read. 

See you tomorrow!

-T. Donna =)

In this way, communities can consider these data as a real one.
>> Communities can consider these data as real ones.

And after that, it is really hard to change what is already attached in one’s brain. 
>> Correct!

For example, people in our country has believed that turning on a fan while sleeping can lead us to death, because fan can flew away fresh air. It first came out in 1990s from somewhere and spread through out the whole country. 
>> For example, people in our country have believed that turning on a fan while sleeping can lead us to death because fan can blow away fresh air. It first came out in 1990s from somewhere and spread through out the whole country. 

This has been proved to be a lie but lots of people believed this myth until 2010s.
>> This has been proven to be a lie but lots of people believed this myth until 2010s.

This development contains good and bad results. But gaining official information become easier than the past. In conclusion, it’s a positive development that people can use Internet to do tasks.
>> Correct!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
112432 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? 오*은 완료 2021-10-01 213
112431 Crimes 2 최*정 완료 2021-10-01 288
112430 Magical Adventure 차*빈 완료 2021-10-01 242
112429 why the cellphone is important 김*성 완료 2021-10-01 223
112428 HOMEWORK 김*연 완료 2021-10-01 237
112427 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? Explain... 류*주 완료 2021-10-01 238
112426 Homework 강*림 완료 2021-10-01 4
112425 Homework 강*림 완료 2021-10-01 4
112424 my dislike subject 김*성 완료 2021-10-01 220
112423 At what age do people usually begin to work in your country? 노*이 완료 2021-10-01 1
112422 Friday homeowrk 류*우 완료 2021-10-01 197
112421 Homework 권*미 완료 2021-10-01 2
112420 Homework 윤*임 완료 2021-10-01 228
112419 Homework 강*선 완료 2021-10-01 397
112418 Is there anything that does not yet exist that you would like to... 김*연 완료 2021-10-01 1
112417 My homework 전*선 완료 2021-10-01 209
112416 Movies and computer games containing violence are popular. Some... 황*하 완료 2021-10-01 258
112415 HOMEWORK 김*혁 완료 2021-10-01 238
112414 Howework 권*수 완료 2021-10-01 2
112413 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? Explain... 김*임 완료 2021-10-01 235

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]