¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is bein

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-09-23 311

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happened around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. I agree that fears are one of the factors which people consider when they are involved in crime but if criminals have no choice to manage their life, they don't consider any penalties when they are planning to commit crime. Democratic societies have been controlled by national law that would be believed the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies. People directly or indirectly agree to live under the control but everybody knows that it can't prevent all crime in their country due to the defect of laws.
The verdict varies on societies. Korea is well known with light sentence even if criminals committed serious offence. In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from the heavy sentence.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mr. Hwang. 'Twas a great talk with you today! Keep being conversant! Have a good one!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happened around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. 
>>> I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is to give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happening around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. 
I agree that fears are one of the factors which people consider when they are involved in crime but if criminals have no choice to manage their life, they don't consider any penalties when they are planning to commit crime. 
>>> CORRECT
Democratic societies have been controlled by national law that would be believed the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies.
>>> Democratic societies have been controlled by the national law that is  believed to be the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies.
 People directly or indirectly agree to live under the control but everybody knows that it can't prevent all crime in their country due to the defect of laws.
>>> CORRECT
The verdict varies on societies.
>>> CORRECT
 Korea is well known with light sentence even if criminals committed serious offence.
>>>  Korea is well known with lenient laws even if criminals committed serious offences.
 In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from the heavy sentence.
>>>  In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from heavy sentence.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112870 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 348
112869 12 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 278
112868 Jobs ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112867 Have you ever decided to change the way you eat? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112866 What are your fears and how are you going to overcome them? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 480
112865 What are your fears and how are you going to overcome them? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112864 What characteristics should we look for in a candidate who is... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112863 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 290
112862 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 900
112861 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 227
112860 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 261
112859 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 2
112858 Do bad mannered people upset you? Tell me about your experience. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112857 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112856 Dancing ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 241
112855 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 267
112854 What do you like most about your culture? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 211
112853 Describe a healthy meal you have most of the time ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112852 What are the things you\'re going to do when you retire? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 235
112851 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04