¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is bein

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-09-23 208

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happened around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. I agree that fears are one of the factors which people consider when they are involved in crime but if criminals have no choice to manage their life, they don't consider any penalties when they are planning to commit crime. Democratic societies have been controlled by national law that would be believed the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies. People directly or indirectly agree to live under the control but everybody knows that it can't prevent all crime in their country due to the defect of laws.
The verdict varies on societies. Korea is well known with light sentence even if criminals committed serious offence. In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from the heavy sentence.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mr. Hwang. 'Twas a great talk with you today! Keep being conversant! Have a good one!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happened around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. 
>>> I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is to give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happening around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. 
I agree that fears are one of the factors which people consider when they are involved in crime but if criminals have no choice to manage their life, they don't consider any penalties when they are planning to commit crime. 
>>> CORRECT
Democratic societies have been controlled by national law that would be believed the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies.
>>> Democratic societies have been controlled by the national law that is  believed to be the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies.
 People directly or indirectly agree to live under the control but everybody knows that it can't prevent all crime in their country due to the defect of laws.
>>> CORRECT
The verdict varies on societies.
>>> CORRECT
 Korea is well known with light sentence even if criminals committed serious offence.
>>>  Korea is well known with lenient laws even if criminals committed serious offences.
 In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from the heavy sentence.
>>>  In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from heavy sentence.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112513 Under-20s\' home purchases face nationwide probe À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1
112512 How do you deal with backstabbers at work? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 264
112511 Name-Changing Fad Grows À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1
112510 Sorry for the last class ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1
112509 10.04 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 0
112508 Homework ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 227
112507 Way that I value other\'s time ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 231
112506 Where do you go? ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1
112505 How often do you go to the doctor? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 328
112504 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 213
112503 What kind of business do you think would be successful during... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 0
112502 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 183
112501 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 199
112500 10.4 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 2
112499 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 526
112498 What souvenir from other countries do you bring back to Korea? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 2
112497 I will make more coll paper-build robot!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 260
112496 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 0
112495 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 222
112494 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04